The milonga jungle

 It's quiz time, folks!

Let's face it.  The tango world is full of characters: amusing, a few annoying and some delightful.  Sounds like life, right?

I know it may be painful, but just try thinking about those milonga situations that you would rather forget, with characters who have left you a little powerless or speechless at times.  Remember: Being forewarned is being forearmed.  You can even practise your response.  You CAN take control!

Here are a few real-life scenarios.  What would you do? (More than one response is possible)

1. The Space Invader
   Two people are deep in conversation.  Their body-language shows that they are focussing on each other.  Someone approaches clearly indicating he/she wants to dance with one of them.
   a.  Ignore the person until he/she goes away
   b.  Acknowledge the person, and continue the conversation
   c.  Interrupt the conversation immediately and get up to dance
   d.  Acknowledge the person, point out that you are involved in a conversation and decline the invitation
   
   
2. The Know-all
   While dancing, once dancer persists in telling his/her partner what they are doing wrong and correcting them.
   a.  Ignore him/her and continue dancing
   b.  Say that you can't dance and talk at the same time
   c.  Say "Thank you" and go right back to your seat making a mental note never to dance with that person again
   d.  Do your best to follow the generous advice
   
   
3. The Human Shield
   After a tanda, rather that clearing the dance-floordurin ghte cortina, some people stand around on the floor chatting.  They are blocking the line of sight of seated dancers who will want to look for a new partner for the next tanda.
   a.  You feel frustrated that you can't see the person you'd like to dance with
   b.  If the "Human Shields" are close to you, ask them to move away or sit down
   c.  The DJ should extend the length of the cortina until they get the message and clear the floor
   
   How would you respond to these milonga characters?
   Can you think of others?
   PP
   
   Thanks to Kris Tengo Teng for the image  https://www.facebook.com/groups/147208172635874/user/405922/

Welcome to our new milonga venue!

The doors had just opened for our first milonga at the beautiful Torrens Rowing Club last month. 
See you again at Comme il faut on the 15 September (3rd Sunday of the month).

Every little bit counts

After more than a week of dancing in traditional Buenos Aires milongas, I’m reminded of some of the social niceties which contribute to a harmonious dance floor as well as an enjoyable individual experience.  (Not a word about cabeceo here.  That topic has already had plenty of coverage.)

Each and every dancer makes a positive contribution to the milonga by:

* taking care of personal hygiene beforehand & avoiding strong scents

* changing into dance shoes in the bathrooms or away from the dance floor 

* when not dancing, ensuring that they aren’t blocking others’ line of sight. If standing to catch someone’s eye, then stand behind the tables

* entering the dance floor with care, with the man seeking and getting the nod of approval from the oncoming leader, and then entering before his partner, to protect her. Start to dance immediately, thus avoiding holdups 

* not eating/chewing while dancing

* chatting only in between songs on the dance floor. Need more time? Then sit down to have a conversation. Chatting while dancing spoils the tanda for dancers around you

* dancing small, keeping feet on the floor, especially in a busy milonga 

* dancing in the ronda, in your lane - neither tailgating nor holding up couples behind you 

* avoiding contact with other couples. Any collisions, even minor, warrant an apology or at least an acknowledgement 

* escorting ladies back to their table

* clearing the floor efficiently during the cortina.

I love how these small things - put together - add up to something greater than their sum.  Congratulations to dancers at La Milonguita in Adelaide who do this so well!

Pat

Codes and cabeceo

Interested in some of the finer points of  of the milonga codes and cabeceo?  Unsure how they might be of benefit?

Popular Argentine dancer and teacher, Oscar Casas, speaks of his experiences in this short interview:

Why chatting and dancing tango don't mix

Well, for a start, having a conversation while dancing seems to miss the point of tango.  Unfortunately, it can be rather anti-social, too.


So, let's re-imagine and replay this scene:
You're at a milonga, and the DJ starts playing a tanda of romantic Di Sarli.  You're in luck when your favourite Di Sarli partner looks in your direction.

As you dance, you begin to feel that the 'tango angels' are watching over you.  You are completely in the moment.  The connection with your partner and the music is deep, and at the same time heavenly.  This is the blissful and elusive experience sought after by dancers.  And when it happens, it gives you goose-bumps.

But suddenly, you are brought back to Earth.  A neighbouring couple's continued conversation while dancing has broken your trance.  You can't help but overhear the discussion about a recent movie, which they could easily have conducted elsewhere.  Are they unaware of the wonderful opportunity which they are missing?

You also happen to notice that their navigation on the busy floor has been affected.  Preoccupied with sharing views of the movie, the man is unable to pay enough attention to leading his partner, and experiences some near-misses with surrounding couples.  In fact, you have to take evasive action to protect your partner.

What to do?  Do you say anything at all?  Do you put your index finger to your lips, discreetly suggesting that they be quiet?  Or do you do nothing, but shake your head and grumble to yourself about their lack of awareness?
PP

On another note, imagine that you find yourself dancing with someone who also wants to chat.  What do you do?  For a few options, take a look at Talk and tango? I just can't do it.

Thanks to Los Angeles Tango Academy for the pictures

Sore tango feet?

Just back from the very successful Tango in the Spring event in Canberra, Australia - a lovely opportunity to immerse oneself in Golden Age tango.

But, all those hours of milongas can take their toll.  Sore feet was not an unusual topic of conversation.  Some might say that it's a good problem to have - implying that they should be happy, because they did lots of dancing.  Does one inevitably follow the other?

Well, I'll let you into a secret.  You can have your (milonga) cake and eat it, too!

Here are some tips:

• Keep your body in shape
  If you can easily maintain a good posture in the embrace, keeping your axis aligned over the weight-bearing knee, then you are more likely to be using your foot efficiently. (You'll find it harder to pivot, if your weight is on the outside of your foot.)   Poor distribution of weight can also lead to injuries.
  You might try exercises for the feet and ankles, too.
  
  
• Select well-fitting and well-cushioned shoes
  Our feet weren't designed to walk in high heels. So, we will be asking for more trouble wearing shoes which are also too tight, too loose, un-cushioned, etc.  (Note. Good padding for the balls of the feet becomes even more important, as we get older.) 
  The shoes may be pretty. They may be a bargain. But, trust me, you'll regret it unless they are really comfortable from the start!  Just ask yourself how many pairs of rejected tango shoes you have stashed away, or given away.  If you're like me, it will be too many to admit to!
  
  
• Keep heels and balls of both feet in contact with the floor
  Why dance just on the balls of your feet (unless pivoting, of course)?  Use your heels and your metatarsals. 
  While extending into a back-step, keep the metatarsals (not only the toes) in contact with the floor.  Lifting and placing your foot, will mean that each step effectively impacts the floor. Ouch!
  These techniques also ground us and help with our balance.
  
  
• Choose partners carefully
  You don't have to dance with anyone and everyone.  If you know that someone's dance style causes you discomfort, then you don't have to accept the invitation.  Use the cabeceo to avoid this, or politely refuse.
  
  
• Take a break
  Perhaps you've just danced a lovely tanda, and feel like basking in the lingering pleasure. Maybe the person you hoped to dance with to this next tanda is already dancing. Or, the music being played doesn't inspire you to dance.
  No problem.  Sit and watch the dancers, enjoy the music, or have a chat. Your feet will appreciate the break.
  
  
• Ice
  Keep a small plastic bottle of water in the freezer at home. If you do get sore feet, cover the frozen bottle with several layers of newspaper or a cloth, and roll your bare foot over it on the floor for 5 minutes or so.  The cold reduces inflammation.  The improvement is amazing and lasts!

Of course, for ongoing problems, you should get professional advice.

I hope this helps.  You may have additional tips to share.  Would love to hear from you.
PP

Diaries of BsAs - Wardrobe malfunctions

Let's face it, most of us take the trouble to present ourselves well at a milonga.  We take care with our personal hygiene, do our hair and make-up (at least some do!), avoid strong perfumes (and other noxious food and body odours), and wear nice clothes.  Most of us want to make a good impression, don't we?

But sometimes, despite our best intentions things can go wrong...

• Some time ago, I was about to leave the ladies' room, to return to the milonga.  Thankfully, one of the other ladies called out to me in Spanish: Tu pollera! (your skirt!)   Had she not been thoughtful enough to do that, I would have strolled into one of my favourite milongas with part of my silk skirt tucked into my underclothes!!   Now that would have made an attractive sight.
  
  
• Not so much embarassing, but not a good look was a mature-aged gentleman in a nice suit happily dancing with his partner.  Unfortunately, he was oblivious to the fact that his suit jacket was tucked into the back of his trousers.
  
  
• A few words of caution to ladies keen on wearing short skirts.  A while ago, a woman arrived at a milonga, obviously doing her best to present herself as a something of a vamp in both her theatrical arrival and the way she dressed.  Some men were immediately drawn by this, and invited her to dance.  However, her dress was so short, that her underwear was on display to all, when she took up the man's embrace.  Observing reactions around the milonga, she was clearly the source of comment.  It didn't take long for one of the organisers to have words with her.   Returning from the ladies room, she was wearing thick black tights.
  
  
•  At a recent BsAs milonga, I was sitting out a tanda and watching the dancers, when something suddenly caught my attention.  It wasn't the male dancer's great skill or musicality.  I had to look again a couple of times to ensure what I was seeing was not what it seemed.  With great relief, I realised that it was only the end of his tan-coloured belt which I could see.  The last 10 centimetres or so of the belt had come adrift, and was hanging from the centre-front of his trousers.  Mercifully, the belt was soon tucked away out of sight.  Perhaps someone kindly told him.

Moral:
Check your attire carefully before going out and before leaving the bathroom.

PP

Diaries of BsAs - How do I dance at a milonga & why?

Almost two weeks of this stay in Buenos Aires have already passed, and attending various milongas (all traditional) makes us reflect on tango experiences here and at home.  Here is the first musing, with more to come:

I rarely dance more than half the tandas at a milonga, and wondered what determines my milonga experience.  Some aspects are very practical, others are personal.

• Venue - Does it inspire and invigorate?  Or is it boring and lacking in energy?
• Hosts - Do they welcome you, ensure you're seated comfortably and make you feel that you belong?  Or are you ignored after paying your money?
• Set-up - Does the arrangement allow those sitting a chance to engage with the ronda?  Or is there a separation between dancers and those seated?

I have barely sat down, but already these things are influencing my mood.

• Dancers - Do they dance well, connect with the music and navigate with consideration to other dancers?  Or is the dance-floor a struggle, not allowing me to relax and dance intuitively?
• Partners - Are there dancers there that I want to dance with?
• The milonga - Does it run smoothly with high energy amongst the dancers?  Or are there some long interruptions and a generally low energy pervading?

And an absolutely fundamental issue:

• Music - Does it call me to the floor?  Or is it often uninspiring, or even irritating?

Even before any of this has an impact, another question is how I am feeling when I arrive.  Am I physically tired or mentally drained?  Or am I energised?  The factors above may turn my mood around - for the better or for worse.

Casting an eye over these factors I notice that many of them can be heavily influenced by the milonga organisers.  Others rely on the dancers having put effort into developing their dance.

A good milonga with lots of good dancers will get people on the floor with the energy at a high, but that doesn't mean dancing every tanda.  For me, there needs to be time to watch, listen and reflect (all enhancements to learning) and, of course, time to socialise with friends.  And then there are the tandas that are unmissable, and have to be danced, no matter how tired I may feel. That might mean dancing half or at most, two thirds of the tandas, but they will be to music that I love and with partners that are meant for this music.

How you respond to a milonga is very subjective.  What suits you may not suit me.  In Buenos Aires, our favourite milongas tick all the boxes, while others tick only some boxes. In those cases, my response may very well depend on how I feel before I arrive. The good milongas will carry me along regardless ... but I'll still only dance a certain number of tandas.  I need watch-listen-reflect time ... and to rest a little, so that I can give my next partner my total focus and energy.  She deserves no less!

Bob

Ten years of Comme il faut!

Heartfelt thanks to the Adelaide tango community for your support of Comme il faut over the past ten years.  Yes, this lovely milonga has been running for that long!  Of course, that would not have been possible without your active participation, and the warmth & generosity of spirit which you all bring.

Congratulations to award-winners: Gerda, Raphael and Roger, who scored the highest attendances over the decade.  Hope you enjoy your liquid prizes  😄

To the bearers of flowers, gifts and well-wishers (including those unable to attend), thank you for your very kind words and support.

Here are some photos of this special celebratory milonga held 8 October.  And if you weren't able to attend, we'd be delighted to welcome you to La Esquina (Sunday 29 October) and the next Comme il faut  (Sunday 19 November).

Music will make or break a milonga

I love the creative process of DJing, and watching dancers respond to the emotional journey created by the music.

But DJs take care! Music will make or break a milonga.  Nowadays, milonga attendees are increasingly sensitive to the music. Experienced dancers' tastes have developed & matured. Some prefer to attend milongas less frequently, dance less often (even though they would like to dance more), rather than tolerate poor musical selections. In Search of Tango articulates this quite strongly.

So, as a DJ, how do I know whether my musical choices are working during the milonga? What are the tell-tale signs?

Most of the people are dancing - obviously!
DJs who forget or ignore their milonga "clientele" are simply not doing their job.

For me, there are also other, perhaps less obvious, indicators of whether my DJing is hitting the mark:

Are the most experienced social dancers dancing?
If they are rarely dancing, or get up to dance only to return to their seats mid-tanda, I need to seriously reconsider my selections.

During tandas, do the dancers generally look absorbed in their dance?
If their facial expressions reflect detachment, puzzlement, boredom, etc., then the music is inappropriate.

Are the dancers moving in a fairly calm ronda? Is the dance-floor moving as a smooth stream, or is it more akin to choppy rapids?

At the end of the tandas, do the dancers appear satisfied as they return to their tables?

During the last part  of the milonga, is there still a good proportion of dancers on the floor?

I've been fortunate to be exposed to the DJing of masters such as Dany Borelli over many years attending Buenos Aires milongas, and have learned & continue to learn a great deal about what to do and what to avoid as a DJ. Aspiring DJs who are interested in learning, but who haven't been so lucky, still have good resources at their disposal via the internet. Some may also be able to consult with successful DJs in their community. They can, indeed must, do a lot of productive research and preparation before venturing out to DJ at a milonga. They shoulder a responsibility which should not be taken lightly.

Dancers deserve a quality experience, nothing less.

PP

Resources:
TangoDJ
TangoDJ fundamentals
DPP's Favourite Tandas

It's all about the milonga

What draws you to tango?
People take up tango for lots of reasons, but for me, it’s all about the milonga.  

Some people spend a lot of time & money taking lessons, going to practicas, and milongas.  Yet, some see attending milongas as the least important, and rarely put their skills ‘on the line’.  

I’m a great believer in dancers getting explicit & expert advice on the essentials: posture, embrace, tango walk, body control, body lead, rhythm.  Then, add some fundamental tools to these essentials to enable people to improvise: ochos, cross, simple turns, etc.  A good teacher will blend these essentials & tools into functional movements.  Now the dancers must practise, and a practica is the most appropriate place, as well a safe place to get constructive feedback.  

At some stage, however, the dancer needs to take the plunge: attend milongas, do a lot of watching & listening, and have the occasional dance with a trusted partner. It will be pretty obvious that the milonga is very different to a practica – intimidating is a fair description to the novice. Gradually skills & confidence develop with regular milonga attendance, just as familiarity with potential partners will grow.

Compare this with taking up a new sport. You are taught the fundamentals at training week after week, then you play practice matches before the season starts, and the main event is ‘the game’.  No-one wants to go through the season playing just the occasional match – likewise, tango dancers shouldn’t be satisfied dancing in the milonga just now and again (or never!!).

What is the magic of a good milonga that makes you want to keep coming back? 
For a start, like the sports match, it’s the real thing.  It’s a total experience - venue, music, the dancers, the etiquette, the energy - and the delicious challenge of the unexpected.   Maybe the magic is the personal connection we have with particular milongas - El Maipu and Lujos (video below) in Buenos Aires are two that come to my mind.

Bob

Is milonga etiquette passé?

Casting my eyes over the reader statistics of this blog, I was surprised by a stand-out trend over the years. The most read and commented posts had a clear theme in common. In the popularity stakes, these two posts were head and shoulders above the rest.

On reflection, the high readership should have been easily anticipated. Considering the social nature of milongas, it should come as no surprise that a topic such as Partner-poaching is a popular post, and that the most read and commented post is How to choose a dance partner.

Not all the comments were in agreement with the sentiments expressed in the posts. In fact, some hearty online discussion resulted. Nevertheless, these real-life situations (humorous, embarrassing, perplexing) in the milonga certainly resonated with many readers.

Surely the popularity of those posts tells us something. In my opinion that message is that milonga etiquette, respect & courtesy, codes of behaviour - call it what you will - still serve a useful role in 21st century milongas, both here and in Buenos Aires.
PP

Milonga magic

Sometimes magic happens....

Yesterday's milonga did not get off to a good start, at all. We had returned to the King's Head Hotel for the first time since March. One hour into the milonga - only about 6 people had arrived.  Certainly, milonga numbers in Adelaide had been declining recently, and there had been a tango party the night before. Were we wasting our time yesterday, and that of our few patrons?

Gradually more dancers arrived, yet it was still a relatively modest gathering of about 20 dancers.

About halfway through the milonga, I found myself transfixed. Most people were on the floor dancing sensitively to a tanda of Demare tangos. Something quite special appeared to be taking place. I fear that this will sound weirdly metaphysical, but here goes:  I can only describe this intangible phenomenon as a very positive and serene energy linking all the dancers in the ronda. And this continued for the rest of the milonga.

Was it my imagination? Perhaps a case of wishful thinking - wanting the milonga to be a success? Yet other people at the milonga were making similar (unsolicited) observations.

Did the new furniture arrangement in the 'ballroom' influence the mood?

Were the people present so determined to enjoy themselves that their positive energy was infectious?

Was the considerate dancing of each person a factor?

Did the music play a part?

Whatever it was, yesterday some magic happened.
PP

Milonga Q and A

Last week we conducted a brief Q and A.  We asked dancers in our group about their concerns in the milonga. Had they experienced behaviours which they didn't like, but didn't know how to respond to? From a tentative beginning emerged quite a number of issues, many to do with plain good manners!

We thought it might be useful to share the concerns and some suggested responses:

Surrounding couples are doing big movements, which are either disturbing your dancing or posing a danger. (Assuming that the norm of the milonga is small movements)

1. At a break in the music, the man could take his partner to a safer part of the ronda. 
2. Where the movements are dangerous to others, ask the milonga organiser to deal with it.
3. The man can navigate to reduce the space the offending couple has, so that they have to dance more conservatively in a smaller space – but the man will always always protect his partner in doing so.

Your partner (male or female) uses an uncomfortable embrace
e.g. too intimate (e.g. man putting your right hand to his chest); stressful (pushing your right/left hand out or up too far;  man pushing & pulling as a means of leading); physically uncomfortable (gripping you too tightly; man ‘paddling’ your back as he leads).

1. You can move your hand to the position that you prefer; if your partner complains, mention that the other position is uncomfortable; if he/she ignores that, tell him/her that you’ll need to sit down if he/she doesn’t do as you’ve asked. 
2. If the embrace is too tight, wriggle out of it until you have the room you need.

Your partner is talking, singing, whistling, making noises that you don’t like

1. “I can’t dance and listen at the same time”.  
2. “I’m finding your talking/singing/noises distracting” (but not the case when a milonguera sings the words in your ear in BsAs, gentlemen!)

The music starts – couples continue to talk in the ronda

1. Dance within your own space until the ronda starts moving ahead 
2. If the couple ahead of you continues to talk at length, pass them on the man's left & rejoin the ronda in front.

You experience collisions, with no acknowledgement or apology

It’s good manners for the man to acknowledge a collision with a wave or nod.  In the case of a significant collision, approach the offended couple at the end of the track to apologise.

At the start of a tanda you are sitting and having a conversation

1. If you’re planning to continue the conversation and not dance, then keep your focus on the person you’re talking to.  But, if you want to dance, chat and scan at the same time. 
2. If someone approaches you and interrupts your conversation, simply say, “No thank you, I’m chatting at the moment” or “Maybe later”

Poor lighting makes the cabeceo difficult
 
Men may need to move around the room so that the eye contact becomes more visible, but not too close to your intended partner.

Your partner (both men and women) keeps telling you what they want you to do

1. “I can’t dance and listen at the same time”.  (man or woman) 
2. “You lead it and I’ll follow”. (woman) 
3. “Let your body do the talking”. (woman) 
4. “My focus is on the music and leading with my body, not on figures” (man)

Man persists with a figure without leading it effectively. You don’t understand what he wants
 
Ladies, you could use your body language (e.g. puzzled expression, shrug of shoulders) to show you don’t understand what the man is leading. If he persists, and you feel uncomfortable, tell him. If he ignores that, tell him that you don't feel comfortable and you’ll need to sit down.

Ladies may fear that they won't get dances if they refuse poor dancers

Is a bad dance really better than no dance?
Your dancing may be judged by potential partners before they look in your direction; dancing poorly with a bad dancer may give them an impression of you as a dancer that you don’t desire.

Ladies tending to be too nice …  not knowing how to refuse an invitation from someone they simply don’t want to dance with

Certainly, it’s helpful for experienced women to dance with beginner men.

1. However, this doesn’t help poor ‘experienced’ dancers if they continue to believe that they can get dances without making the effort to improve. 
2. Accept with the proviso that “from now on, it’s with the eyes only!” This can be done in a light-hearted, yet assertive manner. 
3. When it’s very clear that dancing with a particular man would be a disaster: “No thank you, I’m afraid our dance styles are incompatible”

Note: Effective use of the cabeceo is a way of avoiding some of these problems altogether.

How do you like your milonga?

In a post 3 years ago “What makes a good milonga”, I suggested that there were 4 key ingredients contributing to a good milonga: the (welcoming) organisers, the codes, the venue and last but not least, the music.  However, their interaction and effectiveness have a lot to do with the organisers’ desire to be pro-active.  Here are 3 typical approaches used by organisers – see if you recognise any or all of them in milongas you’ve attended:

1.     Heavy-handed: There is a milonga in Buenos Aires that used to have a list of rules on display at the entrance.  No doubt there about the expectations, and the organisers enforced them in a fairly cold and unwelcoming manner.  There was a feeling of tension and exclusivity.  Not keen to go back there, despite the high level of dancing.

2.      Pro-active:  Anyone who has been to Oscar & Lucia’s milonga Lujos at El Beso & Plaza Bohemia, or earlier at Maipu 444, will be very aware that there is a calmness to the dancing, a lot of respect for other dancers, and an implicit understanding of what is expected.  The organisers are highly respected, and are quite willing to intervene if necessary, but in a gentle and supportive manner.   As a dancer, you feel comfortable, because the behaviour of others is predictable and safe.  Definitely among my regular milongas.

3.      Laissez-faire: The crowd determines the behaviour on any one night, and over time, a trend develops – often downward.  The floor-craft is unpredictable, and the dancing styles vary from good salon through to stage-style.  The latter results in dangerous activity, frustration, and good dancers leaving the floor early or even the milonga.  Unfortunately, the organisers are either too nice, unaware or lack the confidence to intervene.  Maybe the milonga could be good, but it’ll take an extended time to slowly change its culture – using both active intervention when absolutely necessary, and gradually increasing the awareness of milonga etiquette through a range of strategies.

In brief, the organisers need to have a vision of what they want to achieve – presumably a good milonga – and how they plan to achieve it.

Have you experienced any of these approaches?

Bob

Express yourself!

How many times have you heard these exhortations from teachers of tango:

Allow yourself to be transported by the music.
Focus on the connection with your partner and the music.
Develop your own personal style.

I believe in these statements.  So, why was I aghast when a couple in a milonga was doing their own thing (in concert with the music), executing bizarre, disturbing movements reminiscent of a stage show?

Fortunately, there were no collisions with other dancers or surrounding objects. It was not a case of Dodgems on the dance-floor.  However, their dancing was incongruous with that of other couples around them in the ronda. They seemed unaware of their disruptive influence on an otherwise harmonious dance-floor.

The person sitting next to me was more forgiving and remarked that they were simply expressing themselves. No doubt, they were dancing tango in the way familiar to themselves.  They appeared to be having a good time, and isn't that the most important thing?  It made me ask myself if I had become grouchy and intolerant of styles different to my own.  Was I being too sensitive and critical?  I think not, but that's a somewhat biased opinion, of course!

It seemed that the couple had not internalised a basic fact: Tango is, above all, a Social Dance.

Perhaps they had never been taught the skills and awareness enabling them to dance with the other couples in the ronda.  Maybe the distinction between performance and social tango had never been made clear, ie. social tango is not primarily for the entertainment of onlookers.  Carlitos and Noelia show us the difference, and the contrast could hardly be greater: performance and social tango.

Tango therapist's social tango etiquette emphasizes consideration and respect for the surrounding couples.  Why? Because surrendering to the music and your partner in an intimate embrace requires us to trust not only our partner, but also trust those dancing nearby - something we cannot do if collisions seem likely.

Here are snippets of milongas in Chan Park's documentary trailer, showing how we can express ourselves in the dance and allow those around us to do the same.
PP

That Buenos Aires embrace #2

Ask a seasoned social tango dancer what they look for in a dance partner, and it should come as no surprise that a good embrace will normally feature in their response.

Recently, a very experienced tanguero friend remarked - with a palpable degree of nostalgia - how different the tango embrace of porteñas is, as compared to most Europeans, North Americans, etc. (I was relieved when he conceded that there were notable exceptions!) He felt that their embrace “helped create an atmosphere for a brief 3 minute love affair”.  They surrender - body & soul - to their partner for the duration of the tango.

This embrace can take various forms: left arm over his right shoulder reaching to his left shoulder; left arm around his right upper arm reaching around his back; etc.  It’s not a one-size-fits-all embrace. It has to feel comfortable for both dancers, and not compromise axis nor freedom of movement. Heights & body shapes will affect the embrace, but it should feel like a complete embrace. A word of caution: the lady’s left elbow jutting out like a sharp weapon is a definite no, no – especially on a crowded floor. 

Jantango went to the trouble of compiling quite a comprehensive series of photos of ladies’ embraces & commentary: How do you hug your dance partner? part 1, part 2 and part 3. Can you see yourself there?

And how do these embraces work? Here’s a selection of embraces in action at Lujos, one of our favourite Buenos Aires milongas

Just a final thought: I find that a memorable embrace is not only physical. It feels like your partner is 100% in tune with you. In this age of multiple distractions, isn’t that something to be treasured?

Gentlemen, what type of embrace you prefer?

PP

Lust in the milonga

In between the songs in a tanda, Pat’s partner said, ‘Your husband must need glasses, letting you go out dancing on your own’, which simply brought a bemused smile to Pat’s face.  Of course, it was simply a piropo, which women can expect to hear often from local men in the milongas of Buenos Aires.

But this isn’t the lust I’m talking about, nor the more pointed invitation for ‘un cafecito’ after the milonga, that foreign women may receive.  

I watch the women dance, and focus on one, as I notice her pivots, the contact her feet have with the floor, her embrace, the way she responds with elegance to her partner’s leads, the occasional under-stated decorations that enhance rather than interfere with the connection, the one-ness she creates with her partner.  My desire kicks in: “I must dance with her!”  So begins the chase.  If she has seen me dance, then hopefully I’ve measured up.  But now, the cabeceo is all I have left to convince her to take a chance.

Then there’s the lust that hits immediately, when the tanda begins with Fumando espero (Di Sarli/Pomar), La abandone y no sabia (Tanturi/Campus), or Lo pasao paso (Di Sarli/Rufino), and to these I feel that I must dance – they are tangazos!  Now there’s a desperate search to see whether one of my regular partners, who I know will dance this well, is available.  And again, I must put my trust in the cabeceo at a distance, hoping that she feels the same.

The tanda finishes, and the lust is sated.  I can return to my seat, and for a while, savour the 12 minutes that my partner and the music have given me.  The feelings of delight and satisfaction will last all night.
Bob

Budding tango relationships

No, I’m not referring to those fleeting relationships typified by an invitation to have a ‘cafecito’ after the milonga. For those unfamiliar with this euphemism, the expectation is to share more than a cup of coffee! 

She has observed & approved of his dancing and his conduct in the milonga.  He, too, has noticed her elegance and entrega. So begins the game of visually seeking out the other for the first time.

Still metres from her table, he approaches, maintaining eye contact, thus confirming their agreement to dance.  Only then does she rise from her seat, in a heightened state of anticipation, wondering whether her observations will be confirmed when she accepts his embrace.

As she places her upper body against his, his embrace encloses her into a respectful cocoon of safety and comfort. She relaxes and they begin to move together to the music.  

He suggests simple movements, intuitively assessing her responses. She feels his responses to her. They gradually become familiar with each other’s idiosyncrasies, nuances, musical sensitivities and imperfections. During the 12 minutes of the tanda, they begin a non-verbal conversation which slowly gains more depth - the start of a journey of mutual discovery to be continued at a future milonga when their paths cross again.

PP 

Cabeceo between the guys

At last, a light-hearted video on dance-floor etiquette!

Take a look. You may recognise someone: The Over-Excited Follower, Mr Oblivious, Mr Show-Off, The Social Guy, etc.

But beware ... one of these people may just be you!


(Thanks, Nihada, for finding this gem.)
PP