Are you really there for your partner?

I was initially attracted to tango by what I saw and heard when couples were dancing. Obviously, it was an observer's response. Then, I tried to recreate what I had observed.

Like the peeling away layers of an onion, it dawned on me much later that the experience of genuinely dancing tango is largely private, unseen and incredibly satisfying.

Good technique can be taught and developed ....
... frequently listening to tango music will improve your appreciation and response....
....... both will enhance your dance a great deal.
But, in my view, they won't get you beyond a certain point unless you have the right attitude.

So .. what is your state of mind when you dance tango?

Does the music compel you to seek out a dance partner? (Or do you dance to whatever music is put on?)

.... then, are you really present for your partner?

Do you listen to your partner throughout the dance?

..... so, are you always doing your best to connect with your partner and his/her response to the music?

Is your dance governed by the music and your partner? (Or is the next figure your dominant thought?)

.... once again, do you really listen to your partner at each moment of the dance?

Are you prepared to give yourself to your partner? (This implies trust, of course.)

.... and is it your intention to make each part of the dance pleasurable for your partner?


If so, and if your partner is doing the same, then chances are that you may both experience a lovely connection.  You know the sort I mean?  It leaves you floating on air at the end of the tanda (and just a teensy bit sad), as though you were returning to reality from another dimension.

So, what do YOU want when you dance tango? Just a bit of fun on the dance-floor? Or do you want more?

PP

Ladies! What does it take?

Some time ago, I posted advice to tangueras, but here I'd like to delve a little deeper.

In the early days of my tango journey, I worked hard on learning to execute the figures being taught, struggling to replicate sequences and decorations.  I was expected to do my share of the figure, regardless of how it was being led by my partner.  I thought decorations were essential, expressive tanguera accessories.  When reflecting on the results at the time, effective and elegant are two adjectives which do not immediately spring to mind.

Then I began learning about good technique - thanks largely to hours working with the maestra de los maestros, Aurora Lubiz. My body was trained to be ready, able, relaxed and responsive to the music and to my partner - whoever that might be for the next tanda.

After some years of dancing and learning, another critical piece of the puzzle eventually fell into place for me.  It was about my state of mind.  It was about being truly in the moment and surrendering to the dance - entrega.  For this, I needed to

• be confident with my partner, but not dominant
• surrender and be actively responsive
• allow the music to possess me, yet not preempt how my partner might respond to it.

Some of these points may appear contradictory.  But then dancing tango involves subtle give and take.  It's a deliciously, delicate balancing act.  Simple, but not easy.

Ladies, let's forget about the flashy moves and decorations. With sound technique and the right state of mind, you can dance successfully with any good milonguero.
PP

State of mind

Recently, a gentleman in our tango community shared a most insightful observation. Dancing good tango begins with your state of mind. Probably, this will come as no surprise. But how often do we enter the dance-floor of the milonga mentally unprepared?

At a milonga, do you

• dance most tandas, regardless of the music, OR dance only when the music really summons you?
• dance with almost anyone, OR accept invitations (via cabeceo or otherwise) only from people you want to dance with?
• chat while dancing, OR reserve the conversation for when the music has stopped?
• simply assume that your partner will understand you, OR focus on communicating very clearly?
• if you're in the male role, lead tentatively, OR express your clear intention each and every step of the way?
• if you're in the female role, try to predict what your partner will lead next, OR allow yourself to be relaxed, receptive and responsive?
• try to impress onlookers with tricky moves, OR dedicate yourself to dancing just for your partner?

There are no prizes for guessing the correct answers! In my opinion, dancing real tango requires focus and mindfulness.

And to close, here's a challenge from Ricardo Vidort, a late, great milonguero quoted in Tango and Chaos in BsAs:  When you dance tango, you must give everything. If you can't do that, don't dance.
PP