Respect

Respect lies at the heart of tango, and it begins with that most respectful of invitations to dance – the cabeceo.

It continues with the embrace the man offers the woman – one of surrounding her with security.  An open embrace cannot provide this security, and one that puts her in strait-jacket does not respect her response.

So what else should the respectful man bring to his partner? Clear body communication and good body control will allow him to move with stability, balance, & precision.  Add to that a knowledge of tango music that will allow him to exhibit good musicality, with changing dynamics and energy.   He will have an ability to suggest the next movement …. and then wait for her response, finally moving with her.  His aim will be to create a resonance of movement and response to the music with his partner.  The bottom line – a constant focus on his partner: his lead, her response – as well as an acute awareness of the music.  Respect for her!

What can we say of the man who ignores much of this?  The man who believes that there is no reason to develop himself because he will dance anyway … most often by pressuring women with direct requests.  Is he disrespectful, arrogant, or just plain lazy?

Regardless of the answer, let’s encourage the men who show respect for women in their tango community by wanting to improve, using whatever means available to them. That involves more than going to lots of milongas and dancing every tanda in the same way.  Women deserve better than this! 

I suspect most women would gladly accept the cabeceo invitation of men who respect their partners - those men who make an ongoing effort to internalise the music and develop their social dancing skills. 

Bob

Evolution of the coolest man dancing in the milongas

Another amusing take on dance-floor practices from Murat and Michelle Erdemsel

Guys, how evolved are you?

That Buenos Aires embrace #2

Ask a seasoned social tango dancer what they look for in a dance partner, and it should come as no surprise that a good embrace will normally feature in their response.

Recently, a very experienced tanguero friend remarked - with a palpable degree of nostalgia - how different the tango embrace of porteñas is, as compared to most Europeans, North Americans, etc. (I was relieved when he conceded that there were notable exceptions!) He felt that their embrace “helped create an atmosphere for a brief 3 minute love affair”.  They surrender - body & soul - to their partner for the duration of the tango.

This embrace can take various forms: left arm over his right shoulder reaching to his left shoulder; left arm around his right upper arm reaching around his back; etc.  It’s not a one-size-fits-all embrace. It has to feel comfortable for both dancers, and not compromise axis nor freedom of movement. Heights & body shapes will affect the embrace, but it should feel like a complete embrace. A word of caution: the lady’s left elbow jutting out like a sharp weapon is a definite no, no – especially on a crowded floor. 

Jantango went to the trouble of compiling quite a comprehensive series of photos of ladies’ embraces & commentary: How do you hug your dance partner? part 1, part 2 and part 3. Can you see yourself there?

And how do these embraces work? Here’s a selection of embraces in action at Lujos, one of our favourite Buenos Aires milongas

Just a final thought: I find that a memorable embrace is not only physical. It feels like your partner is 100% in tune with you. In this age of multiple distractions, isn’t that something to be treasured?

Gentlemen, what type of embrace you prefer?

PP

That Buenos Aires embrace

What is it that typifies the tango embrace in traditional milongas of Buenos Aires? 

Firstly, no fear
No fear of one's partner. No apprehension about whether you will make mistakes. No concern about what onlookers may think. It's about surrendering to your partner, the music and the moment.

Becoming one with your partner
Mould yourself onto your partner's body, without compromising your axis. The embrace is relaxed, secure and comfortable for both, and not crippled by poor posture.

Man's embrace
While she 'stands up for her man' with a relaxed, good posture, his embrace provides security, conveying confidence and certainty. This allows her to surrender to the journey - his gift to her - knowing he will protect her all along the way.

You embrace your partner as though you really mean it. Let them in to become as one. Make a commitment for the tanda. There should be no 'maybe'.


You may also experience this elsewhere - not just in Buenos Aires. It is certainly how I like the embrace. What are your preferences?
PP

How small can you go?

Murat and Michelle have done it again! 
Another amusing video with a message about social dancing. (Shame about the leg wraps.)

Are you up to the challenge?
PP

Bailar en una baldosa

Wouldn't it be wonderful for social dancing in tango communities if more teachers taught their students the skills required for compact dancing.

Some people tend towards extravagant movements during a milonga, perhaps inspired by the latest flashy performance spotted on Youtube.  Trouble is, they seem to forget that they're not on a stage!   Whether they have the requisite skills for those flamboyant movements is another story altogether. The unfortunate result can resemble a dodgem-car.

Thanks Jantango for sharing these video clips of "dancing on a tile".


PP

There's a woman in your arms!

A few weeks ago, a chance encounter with Pedro Sanchez at La Nacional led to a number of meetings and animated conversations with him. He’s a milonguero, a lovely man, a teacher, a bit of a philosopher and uncompromising in his personal values.

Some of his strong beliefs about tango, the dance, were simple, yet quite profound:
When you have a woman in your arms in a milonga, your bodies are touching. You are cheek to cheek. What do you feel?  There should be a desire to give yourself to your partner, to share with her the emotion that you feel coming from the music, and to communicate your intentions with your body. All very intimate & intense stuff.  (Of course, we must remember that it’s only for the duration of a tanda, otherwise life would get unnecessarily complicated!)

By accepting this description of the dance, a few thoughts inevitably follow:
> Embrace a partner like you would a lover, otherwise why dance with him/her? 
> Why dance with people you simply don’t want to dance with? 
> There’s no room for self-importance. We need to be open to the other person. 
> Personal hygiene and dressing well show regard for your dance partners. 
> Do you want to simply ‘dance’, or do you want to move with passion?

And now for a few final words from Pedro:

I like the way you walk

Is this the highest praise that a tango dancer can receive from an old tanguero?  I believe so; what do you think?  Of course, the embrace and the dancer’s posture are all part of this judgment.

You would think that since walking is something that we do every day, that this would be the easiest part of tango, yet I am convinced that achieving a good ‘tango walk’ is the hardest.  However, if you get this right, then everything else flows easily …. because so much goes with it – balance, strong axis, good embrace, clear lead-follow from the body, close stepping to your partner, effective contra-body rotation.

So why do people have so much trouble with the walk in the embrace?  For a start, they are in an unfamiliar position physically and mentally – in front of and chest-to-chest with a partner.  This in itself creates some anxiety, including the leader’s fear of stepping on his partner’s toes.  Bodies become tense – shoulders, back, arms – defeating any chance of walking normally.  On the other hand, with a relaxed body and a forward advance of the leader’s torso before he steps, there is little chance of him getting near her toes. A leader who leans back, or dances totally vertical, has more chance of clashing with his partner’s legs or feet, because he is keeping her in his space.

Walking in an embrace requires trust - trust that the follower will move with her partner’s lead, and trust that the leader will follow her. The embrace is something that shouldn’t be broken – whether it’s during a simple walk or a complex turn.

Musicality is the next level that needs to be built into walking; confident musicality and confident walking are mutually dependent. Apart from walking on the beat (but not necessarily every beat), musical walking means an injection of energy corresponding to the phrase of the music.  It needs commas & periods, acceleration & deceleration, suspension & relaxation.  If the movements correspond to the music, then you get good, confident walking. It will simply feel right!

There’s another quality that can be added to the dance - resisting the urge to step on every beat. This doesn’t imply that the dance stops at various moments, but rather that the ‘pause’ has value.  It’s a response to the music, which can include small decorations or a gentle body movement into the next step.  Think of a conversation – the silences can be powerful, just as the pause in tango can be.

In some ways it’s no different to a respectful conversation: I say something – she listens - then gives me her response - I pay attention and wait until she finishes talking - before I have something more to say, etc. Such are the essentials of a satisfying conversation, or a deeply satisfying tango.

A controlled and elegant tango walk, combined with a strong sense of where the music is taking you, contains the essential elements of a beautiful tango.  Jorge & Samantha Dispari illustrate this in a post-class demonstration; the film quality could be better, but the impression that it made on me is indelible.

 

Bob

Some holiday viewing

Got a few days off for the festive season? Like to indulge yourself in some videos?

Thanks to Irene & Man Yung, I've just found the Tangotradicional Youtube channel. If you've never seen social tango at its best, this is a must. As for those of us who've experienced some of these great milongas, you'll want to book your next flight to Buenos Aires asap.

PP

Who's afraid of close embrace?

We all need it! We all love it! But are you afraid of a hug?

The close embrace is a defining feature of traditional tango. Within that comfortable, safe hug, we can relax, and allow our bodies to respond naturally to the music and communicate non-verbally.

Movement invites Movement compares the "frame" of Ballroom Dancing with the tango embrace in one of their blogs. Take a look. I know which option I prefer.

I love how Osvaldo Centena and Ana Maria Schapira are totally connected within their wonderful embrace as they dance to this D'Arienzo classic.



PP

Milongueros in action

I’m delighted! At last, I’ve found a series of Youtube videos featuring milongueros of Buenos Aires doing what they love – not performing, but dancing socially in the milonga.

That’s when they’re at their best: feeling the music, dancing with real connection to their partner; dancing with and for her, and at the same time, showing the utmost consideration for dancers around them.

They keep their partner safe in their embrace, allowing her to relax and respond calmly & intuitively. You can see the look of serenity, almost meditation, on the faces of the women in these videos. Tangopilgrim hit the nail on the head, when quoting his teacher: The most important dance is the one that happens inside us.

Don’t do anything, unless you feel you have to. And do anything that you feel you have to do. (Tangopilgrim)
These milongueros and their partners are dancing in the moment. They are both being carried by the demands of the music and all its rhythmic variations, and savouring each second.

Thanks, Irene and Man Yung (video above) and Jantango , for recording and posting these gems on your sites.

PP

El abrazo

“I want to dance tango” is heard often from newcomers, and “I want to dance tango well” from those already dancing. My (no-nonsense) response: “you’ll need to work hard on your axis, posture, embrace, and tango walk before anything else can happen."

So why the constant reminders about the embrace in class? - in fact, some will say tango IS the embrace. Well, the embrace is the physical point of connection between the man and the woman. It is the channel of communication as the man suggests (leads), the woman responds (follows) and the man follows the woman. Hence, they dance together, rather than two separate entities; communication - some might say energy – flows back & forth between the two.

So what can interrupt the flow? From a physical point of view, one of the main sources of trouble is the man’s left and the woman’s right arms. If the man pushes & pulls, his partner is taken off her axis and the lead becomes confused. If her right arm flexes, she’ll be ‘absorbing’ the lead rather than her body moving with it. After all, the lead comes from the man’s upper torso, to be responded to by the woman’s body. Nothing should get in the way of that – including cognitive pursuits like trying to remember learned patterns, studying the man’s chest for movement, or peeking at each other’s feet for cues. We need to be fully present for our partner and the music.

The upper torso – the ‘frame’ – needs to be strong and yet relaxed: tense muscles won’t give & receive subtle signals. The man’s embrace needs to be able to communicate clearly where he would like his partner to go; the woman’s embrace needs to be confident – a presence that the man can feel. Yet it’s light and doesn’t fight back or lean on him.

Getting the embrace right can be frustrating at first. But finding the right balance between strength and relaxation, assertiveness and responsiveness enables us to be equal contributors in our different roles. It allows us to give rather than impose. That’s when it feels like we’re dancing as one, rather than struggling with the other.

For an amusing and informative look at a range of embraces, take a look at a wonderful series of photographs and captions on tangocherie’s website. There’s also an interesting series of comments about the effects of some of the embraces on the writers.

Bob

Embrace me like you really want to dance tango

Tango is music and we can dance to it, but without an embrace, I’m not dancing tango – I’m doing something else. I make my connection with the music, with my partner, with the floor through the embrace. It’s my medium of communication – I propose a movement to my partner, she responds, I follow – our bodies communicate this through the embrace. Of course, I’m talking close embrace, and when I’m in Buenos Aires in particular, that means chest to belly contact – then we dance as one.

Taking up the embrace with a new partner is a defining moment. I take up the embrace with very clear intent. I want my partner to know that I feel confident with her, to reassure her that I know how to dance well, that I will keep her safe as she is led into the unknown, to create a feeling of trust. At the same time, my partner will communicate a lot to me when she takes up my embrace: I will be able to sense her love of tango, the strength of her frame (if she presents a weak right arm, then the dance may be compromised immediately), her willingness to surrender (entregarse). We are exchanging knowledge about each other - a lot of information flows back and forth at that moment, and almost immediately we create expectations and sense how we are going to approach the dance.

With a good embrace, I can lead one step then pause - we are able to wait-feel-listen while being transported by the music. With a good embrace, I feel confident that we can improvise and navigate regardless of the crowd. With a good embrace there is an intimacy, with energy flowing continuously between my partner, me and the music. Only with a good embrace can I dance tango.

Much has been written about the embrace and the following quotes encapsulate its essence for me:

• Mari in her tango diaries says: “Hold me like it’s personal”. She also writes about the ‘entrega’ mentioned above.
  
• Stephanie in her blog writes: “the embrace is about who you are and your ability to communicate that to another”
  
• Finally, Johanna in her blog ‘I’m so easy to please’ gets to the heart of the matter with a piece of fundamental advice: “Just embrace me like you mean it.”
  

And for those searching for the perfect embrace, a starting point could be the advice (at 2m30s) from one of our favourite couples, Melina & Detlef - men, give your partner a genuine hug, then take up her right hand.

Just do it.

So what do you want from the embrace?

Bob

Close Embrace

Close embrace is central to a lot of our dancing at Tango Salón, but we also recognise the need for flexibility, especially for some figures. There's been quite a bit of debate about close v. open embrace lately on the tango discussion board, tango-l , and these three excerpts from 22nd July are worth reading in full:

• Ron has an interesting take on the intimacy of close embrace.
• Nina says that "if you know how to hold a woman in your arms, then you might be able to learn this dance"
• Polly says, "to please the woman, concentrate on the embrace, then the steps"

The close embrace is beautifully illustrated by Detlef & Melina in video clips recently recommended by:

• Sue Butler, who suggested a clip featuring the couple dancing to two different versions of Corazón and, of course, dancing it differently. She added, "both are beautiful, but I really enjoyed the second one; it's just so slow and danced with such feeling for the music"
• John Hayward's recommended clip is an illustration of "excellent walking techniques"

Bob