Every little bit counts

After more than a week of dancing in traditional Buenos Aires milongas, I’m reminded of some of the social niceties which contribute to a harmonious dance floor as well as an enjoyable individual experience.  (Not a word about cabeceo here.  That topic has already had plenty of coverage.)

Each and every dancer makes a positive contribution to the milonga by:

* taking care of personal hygiene beforehand & avoiding strong scents

* changing into dance shoes in the bathrooms or away from the dance floor 

* when not dancing, ensuring that they aren’t blocking others’ line of sight. If standing to catch someone’s eye, then stand behind the tables

* entering the dance floor with care, with the man seeking and getting the nod of approval from the oncoming leader, and then entering before his partner, to protect her. Start to dance immediately, thus avoiding holdups 

* not eating/chewing while dancing

* chatting only in between songs on the dance floor. Need more time? Then sit down to have a conversation. Chatting while dancing spoils the tanda for dancers around you

* dancing small, keeping feet on the floor, especially in a busy milonga 

* dancing in the ronda, in your lane - neither tailgating nor holding up couples behind you 

* avoiding contact with other couples. Any collisions, even minor, warrant an apology or at least an acknowledgement 

* escorting ladies back to their table

* clearing the floor efficiently during the cortina.

I love how these small things - put together - add up to something greater than their sum.  Congratulations to dancers at La Milonguita in Adelaide who do this so well!

Pat

The hidden codes of the milonga

Do you avoid busy dancefloors?  Are you unsure how to protect your partner?  How do you negotiate a busy dance-floor without disturbing other dancers? 

Navigation is a higher order skill for the male role in tango.  There's no doubt about it.  But get it right and the effect on your milonga experience will be profound.  You'll move with care and confidence, flowing with the dancers around you.  Your partner will place her trust in you and relax in your embrace.  

Here are some "hidden" tips from Royce's Tango Thoughts which can make all the difference.  Take a look at this video which illustrates many of these tips.

PP

How big is a baldosa?

Dancing in busy milongas requires a couple of important elements: specific dance skills and a social mind-set.  Together they allow you to enjoy your dance, as well as allowing couples around you to enjoy theirs.

Nowhere is that more the case than the busy milongas of Buenos Aires, where the above elements are oftern referred to as the ability to bailar en una baldosa (dance on a tile).  Last Monday, at one of our favourite Buenos Aires milongas, they were much needed.  It is normally a busy milonga, but the public holiday (Labour Day) brought out more dancers than usual, many of whom are not regulars.

Some were good dancers, who, according to one of my dance partners, don't get out often during the week due to work commitments.  So, you might think "the more, the merrier".  However, after the first hour or two of the milonga, the floor was very busy indeed.  Couples were dancing shoulder to shoulder.  It became clear that some of those dancers who initially had looked good, weren't coping too well with conditions that they perhaps were not accustomed to.

As you read this, you might be asking yourself: How would she know?  The answer quite simply is that they were disturbing couples nearby.  It looked like they were either unable to modify their dancing to suit the conditions, or were blissfully unaware of how their dancing was disturbing those around them.  (Another unfortunate possibility might be that they didn't care).

In stark contrast, the majority of dancers were coping well with the challenging conditions.  What these dancers were doing included reducing the size of their movements, doing tight turns, making full use of the space efficiently with the man's default position facing the tables, being able to spontaneously change direction in the dance, etc., while still maintaining their musicality.  Interested in successful navigation strategies?  Take a look at the illustrations devoted to this topic in Tango and Chaos.

So, how big is a baldosa? As small as it needs to be to suit the conditions on the dance-floor!
PP

More higher order skills for men

Dancing in El Beso can be challenging, but need not be, provided yet another higher order skill for men is employed.

Yes, the floor gets crowded, with couples closely sandwiching you at front, back and side, but the standard of dancing is high, so navigation skills are fairly well refined.  In fact, it’s this knowledge that gives me confidence – I rarely have to worry about dancers behaving inappropriately or with poor control.

But there is something else that happens – I not only dance with partner, I dance with the couples around me, particularly those directly in front and behind.  We need not be interpreting the music in exactly the same way or utilising the same small batch of figures, but there is and ebb and flow as our movements resonate with each other.  While I’m dancing with my partner, I’m constantly adjusting my position so that the other couples can use their ‘space’ relatively unimpeded; and they afford me the same courtesy.

Certainly, I am ‘in my own world’ with my partner – listening to her, responding to her, picking up the rhythms, cadences & moods of the music and responding to them too.  However, I connect with ‘my other world’ – surrounding couples, by dancing in my space and respecting theirs, which means walking and pausing, ochos cortados, vaya ven, lots of small turns, and whatever else my body (not my head) decides to do.

“Dancing in the ronda" is therefore much more than moving around the floor anti-clockwise parallel to the walls, it’s about dancing with others. 

Bob 

A higher order skill for men

What do I mean by higher order skills relevant to the male role in social tango?

Responding appropriately to the music, using the body to effectively communicate your intention and responding sensitively to your partner, are all essential. But these I consider bread and butter skills. In other words, skills which are absolutely fundamental to dancing tango.

So what is a higher order skill? Tricky figures executed in performances may come to mind, but here I'm thinking about tango only in the social context. I'm thinking of the challenge (and the pleasure) in putting those bread and butter skills into action in a busy milonga.

Early in their tango journey, most men probably feel somewhat anxious (and rightly so) at the prospect navigating a dance-floor, let alone a crowded one! A number of skills and factors come together to produce good floor-craft in a male dancer. Not least of these is self-confidence balanced with respect towards the other couples on the floor. Without both of these, even the most musical and skilled male dancer becomes a hazard to others at a milonga.

Master good floor-craft, gentlemen, so your partner can have complete confidence in your ability to protect her and to respect others. It's worth it. Do this and she will surrender to you in the dance. Now that's tango!

Just take a look at a video-clip of Lujos, one of my favourite milongas, to see what I mean.

PP

Evolution of the coolest man dancing in the milongas

Another amusing take on dance-floor practices from Murat and Michelle Erdemsel

Guys, how evolved are you?

Perhaps size matters

Might there be a relationship between the size of the milonga dance-floor and the level of dancers?

On one night at Lujos, we were dancing in the small space that is El Beso in Buenos Aires. The dancers displayed a high level of skill and excellent floor-craft.  The couples seemed to collaborate and flow together.  Over the next two nights, the floor-spaces were progressively bigger, and the level of dancing; floor-craft descended to what could be described as ordinary, then poor.  In the third and largest venue, it was impossible to relax into the dance, due to distracting and unpredictable movements of surrounding dancers.

Closer to home, many dancers have remarked, that at our milonga, Comme il faut, where the floor-space is the smallest of all local milongas, the dancing is calm, with good navigation, movements are generally small, and there’s consideration for other dancers.

Theory: the best dancers congregate in the smaller venues – where good skills are essential, while others head for the wide open spaces. 
But wait a minute, on following nights came Lujos at Plaza Bohemia and El Maipu at La Nacional; the latter being quite large. Both milongas attract skilled dancers with very good floor-craft. 
Hmm, while my theory may have some merit, it’s not the whole story; there are clearly other factors that can over-ride the proposition.

Bob

Express yourself!

How many times have you heard these exhortations from teachers of tango:

Allow yourself to be transported by the music.
Focus on the connection with your partner and the music.
Develop your own personal style.

I believe in these statements.  So, why was I aghast when a couple in a milonga was doing their own thing (in concert with the music), executing bizarre, disturbing movements reminiscent of a stage show?

Fortunately, there were no collisions with other dancers or surrounding objects. It was not a case of Dodgems on the dance-floor.  However, their dancing was incongruous with that of other couples around them in the ronda. They seemed unaware of their disruptive influence on an otherwise harmonious dance-floor.

The person sitting next to me was more forgiving and remarked that they were simply expressing themselves. No doubt, they were dancing tango in the way familiar to themselves.  They appeared to be having a good time, and isn't that the most important thing?  It made me ask myself if I had become grouchy and intolerant of styles different to my own.  Was I being too sensitive and critical?  I think not, but that's a somewhat biased opinion, of course!

It seemed that the couple had not internalised a basic fact: Tango is, above all, a Social Dance.

Perhaps they had never been taught the skills and awareness enabling them to dance with the other couples in the ronda.  Maybe the distinction between performance and social tango had never been made clear, ie. social tango is not primarily for the entertainment of onlookers.  Carlitos and Noelia show us the difference, and the contrast could hardly be greater: performance and social tango.

Tango therapist's social tango etiquette emphasizes consideration and respect for the surrounding couples.  Why? Because surrendering to the music and your partner in an intimate embrace requires us to trust not only our partner, but also trust those dancing nearby - something we cannot do if collisions seem likely.

Here are snippets of milongas in Chan Park's documentary trailer, showing how we can express ourselves in the dance and allow those around us to do the same.
PP

Territorial tendencies

Have you ever been dancing, blissfully transported by the music and your partner, only to be rudely shaken by another couple colliding with you? They appeared, seemingly out of nowhere, moving out of the line of dance. Adding insult to injury, they made no sign of apology and danced on oblivious.

Humans are, by nature, territorial animals. They can exhibit aggression when someone tries to muscle onto their patch. Milongueros in Buenos Aires protect their partner and their space in the ronda.

Of course, they are not immune to feelings of annoyance when subjected to an intrusion. In the early days of tango, knife fights reportedly took place, perhaps over a woman or due to lack of respect on the dance-floor. Nowadays, the milonga tends to be a more civilised environment - on the surface, at least.

Codes of etiquette in traditional Buenos Aires milongas evolved to prevent violent encounters, and to curb other anti-social behaviours associated with the primitive part of our brains.

When even a minor collision happens on the dance-floor, the male dancers immediately signal an apology to each other.  This happens even if the dancer was not responsible for the collision. It keeps the peace.  It shows respect.

I suspect that those who don't do this in BsAs are considered no better than barbarians.

So, how do you deal with such mishaps on the dance-floor?

PP

How small can you go?

Murat and Michelle have done it again! 
Another amusing video with a message about social dancing. (Shame about the leg wraps.)

Are you up to the challenge?
PP

Bailar en una baldosa

Wouldn't it be wonderful for social dancing in tango communities if more teachers taught their students the skills required for compact dancing.

Some people tend towards extravagant movements during a milonga, perhaps inspired by the latest flashy performance spotted on Youtube.  Trouble is, they seem to forget that they're not on a stage!   Whether they have the requisite skills for those flamboyant movements is another story altogether. The unfortunate result can resemble a dodgem-car.

Thanks Jantango for sharing these video clips of "dancing on a tile".


PP

Imagine if ...

While chatting with Pedro Sanchez, he made the strong statement that it is the women who set the standards at the milonga. In other words, the women determine the behaviours which they are prepared to tolerate from the men who want to dance with them. Take a moment to think about that and the implications.

How would milongas change if the more experienced female dancers were not prepared to accept invitations from those men who are guilty of one or more of the following …

·         blatantly interrupting conversations to invite them to dance

·         pushing and pulling them around the dance-floor

·         often causing collisions

·         ignoring their personal hygiene

·         attending the milonga in the same clothes they would wear to a barbecue?

Imagine a milonga where all the men ….

·         use the cabeceo, allowing women some real choice

·         communicate the lead subtly with their bodies

·         protect their partner and respect other dancers on the floor

·         make an effort with their personal hygiene

·         dress for a special occasion - the milonga.

Is this just a fantasy? Is it achievable? When all is said and done, I believe that it comes down to self-respect and personal standards.

PP

Dodgems on the dance-floor

Ever been dancing at a milonga and felt like you have suddenly been transported to a fairground? Instead of being in a comfortable embrace with your partner, flowing magically with the music, you feel you have both been teleported into the seats of a dodgem car. All your efforts are being directed towards avoiding the next crash.

Sometimes things change dramatically at milongas, even milongas where the line of dance is normally respected and dancers are considerate to one another. For any number of reasons, the dynamics on a night can be suddenly different and the floor-craft unpredictable. When driving on a busy road, you need to assume that the other motorists will abide by the road-rules and will drive in a predictable fashion. If not, you would be constantly on high alert, trying to avoid collisions. Social dancers also require predictability from their peers in order to relax and connect with their partner and the music. Gentlemen, you need to “dance with” the couple ahead of, behind and beside you.

We are all responsible, to a greater or lesser extent, for what happens on the dance-floor. So, what can you do, if you find yourself dancing with a partner (male or female) whose behaviour is erratic? Well, for a start, you might be a little more discerning in your choice of dance partner. But, perhaps their behaviour has taken you by surprise. You are dancing the first of four tangos together and you’re getting worried. You have already collided with another couple, and to make things worse, no apology was made. What are your options?

1. Go with their flow and not worry about the people dancing around you.
2. Tighten your embrace, try to slow things down and hope that your partner becomes aware of your discomfort.
3. Say that you are feeling uncomfortable.
4. Say that you are feeling uncomfortable and return to your seat.
5. Any other ideas?

As I have mentioned before, the etiquette of the milongas is based on respect for others. The codes evolved over some time, hence can be considered “tried and true”. Their purpose is to reduce tensions and discomfort, thereby maximising harmony during this social event.
When someone’s behaviour had been inappropriate, I have witnessed the organiser of a milonga in Buenos Aires taking the person aside and explaining what is expected. Some organisers refund the person’s money and simply ask them to leave. Better that than have everyone else’s fun spoiled, as well as the reputation of their milonga. Offenders whose response is “But we didn’t actually collide with anyone!” fail to understand that their erratic behavior means that because of them, no-one else can relax and enjoy themselves.
In extreme cases, I have seen ladies use their prerogative and desert their partner on the floor mid-tanda. What else should she do if he just won’t take a hint and continues to make her look incompetent in front of everyone? And of course gentlemen, you too can escort your partner off the floor if she fails to curb her exhibitionist streak and insists on behaviour that endangers others.
On the other hand, some people are just too nice. They feel uncomfortable and do nothing. They are afraid of offending. Ladies have confessed to being afraid that that person won’t invite them to dance again. And the result? In the long-term they actually do the offender a disservice. The anti-social behavior is reinforced. Sadly, that person won’t realise that their behaviour is inappropriate. They miss an opportunity to reflect on whether their skills need development so they can be more in control of their navigation.
Now, see if you can identify the code which wasn’t followed in this video which was taken in a BsAs milonga (hint: 4.20mins). Unfortunately, it led to a dancer being injured and having to leave the floor.
PP

Códigos de la milonga #9 - La pista

Scenario 26
Imagine the scene at a milonga. The music has started, couples have begun to dance. You’ve just made eye contact with your next partner, with whom you haven’t danced for a while. Choose the most suitable behavior:

1. The man rushes across the dance-floor to embrace his partner, narrowly missing a couple already dancing.
2. You’re both on the dance-floor. Before taking up the embrace, you greet your partner and ask how they are, what they’ve been up to, etc.
3. You meet your partner and make your way straight onto the dance-floor. The other dancers will accommodate you both.
4. You meet your partner, find a safe gap in the lane of dancers, perhaps making eye contact with the couple approaching and then you merge quickly into the flow.

The correct answer isn’t rocket-science, particularly for most of us who have driver’s licences. (Option 4, in case you were unsure) Yet, it’s surprising how often people forget to consider their fellow dancers. Jan, of Tango Chamuyo provides some useful insights in La pista sagrada (the sacred dancefloor).
And while I’m on the topic of respect for other dancers, in Tango & Chaos in BsAs, Rick McGarrey shares excellent practical advice (replete with graphics) on the challenging skill of navigation. If you are a pusher, a dawdler, or simply see yourself as a free spirit on the pista, this is essential reading!
PP

Tango as a journey

Like many gringos, we were first attracted to tango many years ago by stage tango (tango escenario). The powerful music of Piazzolla also played a large role at the time. Much later we discovered that the flamboyant, exhibition-oriented dancing was the flip-side of the tango coin to social tango.

Both are part of tango culture. One is quite rightly aimed at entertaining the audience with highly skilled and impressive figures and combinations. On the other hand, social tango (tango salón) is more subtle and internal. Each dancer has to tune in to their partner’s non-verbal communication in this improvised dance. And for me, that’s much more engaging. Each person’s communication style and response to the music will be different. So every tanda is potentially a private voyage of discovery for each person.

We dance tango salón for our partner in a milonga, alongside many other couples, who are engaging in their own private journeys for the duration of the tanda. Because we are sharing the dance-floor, the códigos of the milonga (milonga etiquette) evolved to meet the needs of all these folk, of course.

Some travel to Buenos Aires to immerse themselves in tango culture, including the códigos, which can be challenging, at least initially. Tangocherie’s blog and comments to - Why do some people bother to come to Buenos Aires to dance? – are a must to read, especially if you plan to make the journey.

PP

Códigos de la milonga (milonga etiquette) - Have your say #7!

Well, here's the last stage of the códigos quiz - unless of course, some other juicy scenarios are brought to our attention by observers of milonga etiquette! All in all, they are about simple good manners and respect for your partner & other couples. But they also reflect the behaviours that are the norm in the traditional milongas of Buenos Aires. Take care in BsAs, because the dancer who doesn't stick to them closely is simply regarded as a 'beginner' by locals. On the other hand, to be observed respecting the codes can bring accolades such as, 'you're not seen as a gringo in this milonga'.

So here they are:

Scenario #21
There’s a group of friends, not all couples, sharing a table at a milonga. They’ve heard a lot about the cabeceo code. Yes or no to the following:

1. The only way they are going to dance with each other is if they use silent eye contact
2. A lady says, “I love this piece of music, let’s dance Dave”.
3. A man simply asks the lady next to him whether she’d like to dance.
4. The friends are obliged to only dance with those at their table.
5. It’s O.K. to seek a dance with someone sitting across the room using the cabeceo.

Scenario #22
A couple is following the line of dance, and occasionally moves into a vacant space closer to the centre to execute a turn, before returning into their ‘lane’. The couple behind should:

1. Wait for them to move to the vacant space again, and pass them on the outside.
2. Restrict the amount of room for them to return to the line of dance in order to ‘give them a message’.
3. Pick up on their dance style & timing and blend in with their movement, while remaining behind.
4. Speak to them in a break in the music, asking them to dance in one lane or the other.

Scenario #23
A couple agree to dance using the cabeceo. Yes or no that the woman should:

1. Rush onto the dance floor and meet her partner half-way.
2. Wait until he comes to her table, stand up, and go onto the dance floor with him.
3. Once on the dance floor, put her hands out & up to shoulder level, waiting for the embrac.e
4. Once on the dance floor, wait for the man to invite her into his embrace.

Scenario #24:
A man wants to dance with a particular lady. He should:

1. Walk straight across the room, put out his hand, and ask her to dance.
2. Employ the ‘cabeceo’ – actively try to catch her eye, and if she responds, invite her to dance with a small head movement.
3. Strike up a conversation with her, and after a while, ask her to dance.
4. Stand up, attract the woman’s attention, and casually call her over to dance with a ‘come here’ move of his finger.

What do you think?
Bob.

Every tanguera's (not so secret) desire

Once upon a time at a milonga not so far away, began a tanda of intense Pugliese tangos.

She casually looked around, and to her delight he was waiting to catch her eye. As he took her in his arms, she felt that this might become one of those delicious tango experiences. His embrace told her he knew how to dance tango, including how to look after a partner (who would be dancing backwards into the unknown for the next 12 minutes). A wave of complete trust swept over her. After the first few bars, she felt herself surrendering to the emotion of the music. And so, they let themselves be transported by the magic that is tango.

But her bliss was to be short-lived ...

Towards the end of Gallo ciego, he took swift evasive action to prevent a collision when the couple in front of them abruptly starting moving backwards against the line of dance. "Never mind" she thought, "there's more good music to come."

Resuming the embrace, their smiles expressed an unspoken understanding that the rest of the tanda would be better. Yet having travelled just half-way around the floor, an elbow jabbed her in the ribs, as the couple alongside them unexpectedly executed a large dramatic figure, somewhat akin to an aggressive martial art move. He held her closer and checked she was OK, feeling guilty he had been powerless to protect her from such thoughtless behaviour.

Dismissing the disturbance, they continued to dance, and gradually re-immersed themselves in the beauty and challenge of Pugliese. Dancing as one, they lost sight of their day-to-day concerns, gradually making their way along the perimeter of the pista (dance-floor) in the line of dance - he, ever vigilant for "loose cannons". She felt herself entering that elusive tango trance.

That night, the DJ had been playing tandas consisting of 4 tangos. And too soon, they realised they had only one tango left to enjoy together. So for that very special piece which the DJ had reserved till last, as they danced, they bared their souls.

Thud! Completely shaken, they recovered and realised what had happened. Another couple had been sitting out the tanda, but had made a last minute decision to take advantage of that final Pugliese tango. Hastily making their way onto the pista, they had caused that ugly collision.

Apologies were profferred and accepted, but it was all too late. The spell was well and truly broken. As he escorted her back to her table, disappointed and deflated, they both silently reflected on what could have been.

Postscript: "Nothing can be done about these problems of the dance-floor. It comes with the territory. We just have to live with it." you may be thinking.
But just a minute - there is another way. Interested? Take a look at some of the strategies suggested by Tom Stermitz and published on ToTango.

Postpostscript: Click here for a few of videos of normal people navigating around the pistas in Buenos Aires: Porteno y bailarin, El Beso & Nino bien
Enjoy your dancing,
Pat.

Códigos de la milonga (milonga etiquette) - Have your say #5!

The debate continues worldwide over milonga codes, particularly the use of the cabeceo. In some countries, and some cities in Australia, the cabeceo is almost non-existent, making it harder for out-of-towners to get dances. Some would argue that it is an anachronism - with no part to play in modern societies, while others talk about it protecting dancers from unwelcome partners or from music they don't want to dance to.
However, we don't hear much dispute about the importance of codes like keeping the line-of-dance, leading & executing figures which are safe in the circumstances, and treating partners with respect. These are all about ensuring that everyone at the milonga has a chance to enjoy the dance.
Scenario #15:
A woman approaches a man to ask him to dance. He should:

1. Accept, even if he doesn’t want to, and dance the tanda with little connection.
2. Politely decline, because, in truth, the music isn’t the type he can connect with.
3. Accept, make the best of the music & partner, and strike up a light discussion about the fun & value of the ‘cabeceo’ at the end of the tanda.
4. As soon as he spots her coming, dash into the toilet.

Scenario #16:
A man is leading large open figures which take up a lot of space, intruding into the line of dance, and encouraging his partner to execute moves which are dangerous to other couples. Another couple should:

1. Put up with it and keep well out of their way
2. Approach the couple in a break in the music and suggest they dance in the middle, not in the dance lanes
3. Speak to the milonga organiser and point out that their dancing is affecting other couples negatively
4. Try doing the same, since the other couple seems to be having fun dancing this way.

Scenario #17:
A woman is being taught on the dance floor during a milonga because she’s apparently not following what her partner wants her to do, and she doesn’t appreciate it. She should:

1. At the next break in the music, suggest to the leader that he find someone who already knows what he wants, thank him, and return to her seat.
2. Tell the leader that she’s simply following what he appears to be leading.
3. Put up with it for the tanda, but make a mental note not to dance with him again.
4. Tell him that she isn’t able to concentrate on following while he insists on talking.

What would you do?

Códigos de la milonga (milonga etiquette) - Have your say #4!

While watching dancers at Comme il faut on Sunday, we noticed how well the milonga codes were being observed - great line of dance, invitations across the room largely using the cabeceo ... while still appreciating the appropriateness of directly asking friends to dance. One male dancer commented about the overall calmness of the evening and respect for other dancers. The codes, after all, are intended to enhance the comfort and enjoyment of everyone at the milonga

Here are a few more scenarios that are encountered now and again at milongas. How would you recommend navigating around these tricky situations?

Scenario #12

You arrive at a milonga/practica, and sit on your own. After a while, with no offers, you notice one of your regular lesson partners is free. Do you:

1. Try to catch his eye, then move toward him if he acknowledges.
2. Immediately approach him, and ask for a dance before he shoots off again.
3. Though you do wish to dance with him, simply wait for him to manage the whole thing
4. Wait for him to approach you, and if he doesn’t, give him a hard time at the end of the milonga for not dancing with you.


Scenario #13

A woman is executing flamboyant and dangerous figures and decorations which her partner has not led. Despite his attempts to contain her movements, she manages to injure another dancer with her stiletto. What’s appropriate?

1. He should apologise profusely to the injured dancer.
2. She should save her showy moves for performances rather than the milonga.
3. They should simply carry on dancing, since this is one of the hazards of the dance-floor.
4. The injured dancer should have been more observant and avoided her, so is partly to blame.
5. The man will be more judicious in his choice of dance partners in future.


Scenario #14

Despite wanting to dance with a range of partners at a milonga, a woman is being invited to dance repeatedly by one man, resulting in her being unavailable to dance with others. When he begins approaching to ask again she should:

1. Politely accept the man’s invitation, believing it would be rude to refuse.
2. Use her body language to indicate discreetly to him that she is unavailable to dance with him and employ the cabeceo to encourage invitations from other dancers.
3. Politely decline the invitation using an excuse, such as tiredness.
4. Tell him, in no uncertain terms, to leave her in peace.

You can say you think by adding a comment.

Give me a packed milonga!

Give me a choice of a milonga with wide open spaces or a comfortably packed dance floor, and I'll choose the latter. There's something about dancing with the other dancers - picking up on their movement, feeding off their energy, feeling like the milonga is an organism which is slowly moving around the floor.

Then there are the navigational challenges - leading my partner, responding to the rhythms of the instruments, capturing the emotion & timing of the melodies (of the orchestra or vocalist), advancing & turning with adjacent dancers, utilising tight spaces - and making it all work.

The wide open spaces in a sparsely filled milonga? - great for practising complex figures or the fun of racing around to a vals, but there's something about the essence of the milonga that's missing here.

However, there are a couple of conditions to my preferred packed floor: it should be comfortably, not tightly packed (when it can be simply difficult to dance at all), and other dancers need to respect the codes of use of the dance space. Here's an interesting and amusing article on Tango & Chaos that's worth reading on use of the dance floor.

Bob