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Our teaching develops your musicality, connection, technique & improvisation with social tango, as well as insights into tango culture and critical skills to build your confidence with milonga etiquette.



Saturday, 24 December 2011

Some holiday viewing

Got a few days off for the festive season? Like to indulge yourself in some videos?

Thanks to Irene & Man Yung, I've just found the Tangotradicional Youtube channel. If you've never seen social tango at its best, this is a must. As for those of us who've experienced some of these great milongas, you'll want to book your next flight to Buenos Aires asap.

PP

Wednesday, 7 December 2011

PractiMilonguero on the road

It almost feels like some of the European interviewees in the latest post of PractiMilonguero have taken words out of our mouths. How reassuring to know that we are not alone in our views about the culture of tango.

Saturday, 26 November 2011

Cabeceo - making it work for you


So you've tried this cabeceo thingy a few times but it somehow didn't really work for you.

Did you look in his direction and he didn't return your gaze?

Was she was too busy talking to someone to notice that you were trying to get her attention?

Did you stare at him/her without success?

Well, here are some tips.
  • First and foremost: it's about choice - for both parties - not about imposing your will.
  • If you want to dance, show it, but in a way that allows the other person some choice. (See earlier post Cabeceo: the subtle game of pursuit)
  • If possible, sit where eye contact with potential dance partners is easy. (Unfortunately, the physical conditions of some milongas can make this challenging eg. lighting, seating layout, etc.)
  • Gentlemen, if you need to wander around to achieve that eye contact, just make sure you do it from afar thus allowing ladies real choice. (Contrary to popular opinion, nodding vigorously at a potential partner after coming within a metre or so, does not constitute a cabeceo!)
  • Ladies, if you think this is all unfair and that you have little say in the process, think again. Women can have as much power in this situation. (See earlier post Buenos Aires milongas from a  woman's perspective for more details.
  • Accept that there will be ups and downs. People choose not to dance at any one time for a multitude of reasons. Be patient and stay positive - nobody would want to dance with a disgruntled-looking person.
  • Remember that it's about real choice for both parties.
    Do you want to dance with someone who is simply going through the motions because they didn't want to hurt your feelings?  Or do you want to dance with someone who really wants to dance with you?? Think quality rather than quantity.
PP

Saturday, 19 November 2011

It's a man's world - fact or fiction?


We’ve been scratching our heads over a behaviour that we’ve observed with some frequency. There’s been no number-crunching but we’ll stick our necks out and call it a trend. What is of concern is that this behaviour has the potential to upset the equilibrium and halt the progress of a tango community. As to its causes, we can only speculate, and we won’t bore you too much with amateur psychology. No doubt, you’ll have your theories.


Anyway, here goes:

When we notice the disrespectful practice of a dancer giving their partner advice or doing a spot of teaching at a milonga, the perpetrator is normally not the lady. Although, to be fair, it could be argued that the lady is partly to blame for putting up with this inappropriate behaviour, rather than abandoning her partner on the dance-floor.

Have the men in question conscientiously striven to improve their own dancing, taking lots of private classes and doing countless hours of focussed practice so they can lead perfectly?

Are they experts in the woman's role, too?

If the culprits of this behaviour think they are so accomplished and their dance partners so inept, why do they invite them to dance?

Even more to the point, why do their dance partners repeatedly accept their invitations and willingly subject themselves to this?

We just don’t get it!

Wednesday, 19 October 2011

Tango your life - the doco

The trailer of Chan Park's film Tango your life shows tantalising clips of our favourite Buenos Aires milongas with lots of familiar faces.

It's now an entry in the ArcLight Documentary Film Festival where the 10 entries with the most "likes" will be accepted into the festival. So visit this Youtube link, enjoy and vote. 

Asi se baile el tango! 

Friday, 7 October 2011

Too much musicality?

Does that sound sacrilegious? Is it hard to imagine? Can you conceive of situations where too much focus on the music might ruin the social dance?

Finding this concept difficult? That's not at all surprising.

For some years, we and others who love social tango, have been critical of the emphasis which some dancers and teachers place on "doing steps", even mini-choreographies, at the expense of the music and the other dancers at a milonga. We are not alone in the belief that the social dance-floor of the milonga is not the place for dancers to act out their aspirations for the stage - their flamboyant and erratic movements interfering with the flow of the dance-floor. Besides, any experienced dancer will tell you that dancing with someone who is struggling with fancy steps is no fun at all. Connection and musicality are far more enjoyable.

Yet some recent experiences in Europe illustrated to us that the social dance experience may also be compromised by dancers trying excessively to interpret the music. Dare we say that some try to play - perhaps a touch  too cleverly -  with the minutiae of the music.

So, what could be wrong with trying to do justice to the music? Nothing at all. Dancing is a physical and emotional response to music. But it seems that when the intellect gets too involved in this process, the social dance suffers.

A joy in tango is dancing with a partner and being carried away with the phrasing, rhythms, melodies and interplay of instruments in that great treasure-trove of music. However, like most things in life, this can be taken to an extreme. Trying to represent each and every nuance, syncopation and off-beat contained in a piece brings with it the danger of a stilted dance experience - for the couple and for those around them on the dance-floor. The dance is then in danger of becoming an intellectual, interpretive exercise. One can simply try too hard to be musical.

Milongueros such as Osvaldo Centena and the late, great Ricardo Vidort are just two examples of playful and fluid musicality on the social dance-floor. It's pretty safe to say that they danced what their bodies felt in the music. As a result, their dance is a fluid and comfortable experience. (Pat speaks from personal experience of dancing with El Oso).

So, returning to the initial question. Sadly, in some respects, too much musicality in the dance is indeed possible. The intellect should not dominate the dance, whether it's by over-analysis of the music, or attempts to reproduce certain "steps". Anything resulting in a stilted and contrived dance, will be in conflict with social tango.

Wednesday, 10 August 2011

What’s in a name? Comme il faut

What is comme il faut? No, it’s not the shoes!

The literal translation from the French (according to our French-English dictionary) is "How Things Are Done," but that doesn't begin to describe it.
It's about manners, and behaving properly in polite society, and keeping your cool under provocation (both verbal and physical).
It's behaving like a lady, or acting like a gentleman.
It's that very rare quality in today's self-promoting, blame-shifting, tell-all society known as class.

When we named our new milonga Comme il faut just 4 years ago, it was very much a case of our belief in “how a milonga should be”. From spending a month in Buenos Aires every year since 1999, we have come to embrace the style of milonga that we believe to be typical of the ‘Mecca of tango’.

We wanted to cultivate some of the important elements that we value at the more traditional milongas in BsAs. Many hours spent in Maipu 444 watching and dancing, while absorbing the music of master DJ Carlos Rey, have provided a thorough education in what makes a successful milonga.

Consequently, we chose a venue which has character – a 1920s golf club – with a relatively small salon, accommodating around 55 people. With the tables arranged tightly around the dance floor, those who watching are always in close contact with those who are dancing. It also makes possible and encourages the use of the cabeceo. The size of the dance floor requires dancers to have good navigation skills, respect the line of dance, and dance appropriately. So it follows that elaborate performance figures and activities that disturb other dancers (eg. high boleos) are not welcome …… and we haven’t been shy in asking ladies to keep their heels close to the floor. We are delighted that there seems to be an understanding that good floor-craft and care for other dancers are the norms at Comme il faut.

The other guiding influence is has been the DJ culture of Buenos Aires. Pat’s music is largely the best of the Golden Age, with playlists influenced by the likes of Carlos Rey, Mario Orlando, and Dany Borelli. Persistence with this wonderful music at Comme il faut, has meant that local dancers are now saying that they have come to love the music of that period.

So why do we, in Australia, want to promote a milonga modeled on our favourites in Buenos Aires? For a start, it’s what we love, and we want to share what we believe is a genuine tango experience with local dancers. There’s also the reality that many dancers of all abilities are holidaying in Buenos Aires, with the intention of dancing tango there. What we offer is a snapshot of what to expect. As a result, dancers may recognize the changes they may need to make to their current style of dancing in order to fit in. After all, many milongas in BsAs are much more crowded than here. Good navigation skills are essential. Sacadas, volcadas, & colgadas are rarities in the traditional milongas. Better to learn this before arriving in BsAs than experiencing a rude shock.

Should all milongas be modeled on the traditional BsAs ones? Well, if they were, we would love every minute of them. However, other people insist that home-grown milongas should not try to copy BsAs, but have their own local style. What do you think?

Bob.



Wednesday, 20 July 2011

What IS that smell???

Before attending a social function such as a milonga, there are certain things many of us take for granted in our society: taking a shower, brushing our teeth, wearing clean clothes, taking along some breath mints. Some men who perspire heavily have been known to thoughtfully bring along a spare shirt to change into. Tangueras really do appreciate men who make an effort.

However, as in all matters, there are people attending milongas who just don’t understand the Less is more concept. And I’m not referring to their dancing! I’m thinking about the ladies and gentlemen who feel the need to douse themselves with their favourite, expensive perfume and then share it around each time they embrace someone. Surely just a hint of scent should be enough – elegant sufficiency, n’est ce pas? Instead, we sometimes leave milongas wearing a sundry mélange of designer eau de parfum. OK, I’m lucky enough not to suffer from allergies and I can wash it off when I get home. So what’s the fuss all about?

A few weeks ago, we discovered an odour emanating from my significant other’s clothes. It was rather feminine, floral and quite pervasive. (He’s got another woman! I thought.) The smell had spread through four jackets & six shirts like an out-of-control virus. Finally, we managed to track down the source to one of the jackets he’d worn to a milonga. No amount of airing could get rid of it. Now, he’s patiently & forensically working towards identifying the culprit!

On another note, Tango Goddess shares an amusing anecdote about a totally different type of assault on the olfactory system.

PP

Wednesday, 29 June 2011

Who's afraid of close embrace?

We all need it! We all love it! But are you afraid of a hug?

The close embrace is a defining feature of traditional tango. Within that comfortable, safe hug, we can relax, and allow our bodies to respond naturally to the music and communicate non-verbally.

Movement invites Movement
compares the "frame" of Ballroom Dancing with the tango embrace in one of their blogs. Take a look. I know which option I prefer.

I love how Osvaldo Centena and Ana Maria Schapira are totally connected within their wonderful embrace as they dance to this D'Arienzo classic.



PP

Friday, 17 June 2011

Getting the music

Most milongueros would say that “getting” the music is the first priority when dancing tango. After all, tango is a feeling that is danced. So for most of us, who weren’t listening to tango while still in the womb, we have a little catching up to do!

It’s not only about the rhythm, the phrases are also very important. And of course, we can dance to the melody. For some of us, individual instruments may seize our attention ....... they may be playful or intense, etc. In the end, it’s all about how the music speaks to us at the time. And because the music has several layers, our response to it is likely to be different each time we dance. Isn’t that part of the fun?

Interestingly, I find myself “re-discovering” tangos which I’d previously neglected. Without a doubt, listening to the music a lot allows the brain and the body to respond better, to tune in more effectively to the nuances and opportunities which the music offers. So my advice is to listen to tango music frequently. For anyone wanting to start or improve their music collection, Stephen & Susan Brown’s recommendations are a great start. For lovingly restored recordings, Keith Elshaw is your man.

Teachers of tango have a major responsibility here, too. We all need to be nurturing our students with danceable tango music, and it should be appropriate to their skill level. There should be an obvious connection between the music and the skills being taught. No, it’s not “rocket science”. Yet, too often one hears of complex figures more suited to the stage being pursued relentlessly by teachers, even though their students may lack fundamental skills. What could be the point of this, when the pre-requisites for tango bliss are good connection with the music & one’s partner, and a nice embrace?

PP

Thursday, 12 May 2011

Attitude

Immersion in the milonga scene here in Buenos Aires has provided me the luxury of reflecting on lots of tango-related issues. Musicality, technique and the codes are familiar topic , although not necessarily mastered by all the dancers on the floor. However, another seldom-mentioned aspect of dancing successfully in the milonga is attitude. Dancing tango requires a certain mind-set.

Self-belief is essential
Both men and women need to be confident that they will be able to respond to the demands of the music, the dance-floor and their partner. A tense or inhibited partner will not be able to respond as effectively to their partner or the music, so the partner will in turn, not be able to relax and make the most of the dance. A confident (and capable) man's embrace & lead will allow his partner to feel safe. Any tentativeness will lead to uncertainty on her part. She should surrender herself to her partner and to the music for the tanda.

However, we cannot fully give of ourselves if we're not sure that we have something worthwhile to give.

Attitude to one's partner
Firstly, we should really want to dance with that person. For that reason, I'm a great fan of the cabeceo. Agreeing to dance with that person means that we'll do our best to make the most of that tanda together. We should be prepared to respect and commit to our partner for that time, regardless of their dance experience (see Dancing as equals). If we can't do that, then I believe that it's better not to dance with them. In a recent interview for Practimilonguero, milonguero "El Oso" said that his job as a dancer was to make his partner "vibrate with the music".

Dancing with everyone on the pista
We share the dance-floor. There needs to be a balance between our self-belief & enjoyment, and that of other couples. However, each couple should command their space confidently within the ronda. Just the other day in a downtown milonga, I witnessed a foreign couple whose dance skills were quite reasonable, but they looked daunted by the other dancers around them. Their faces revealed fear and discomfort, his embrace seemed weak and apologetic. Rather than dancing confidently between the couple behind and in from of them, they often appeared to lose their nerve and would escape into other lanes.

We should respect other couples and their rights on the pista, but not be afraid. We need to collaborate with other couples around us and not feel intimidated by them.

Perhaps it goes without saying, but I'll spell it out anyway. Underpinning attitude, is confidence in your mastery of a small repertoire of simple figures that are appropriate to the milonga; good posture and stability; an understanding of the cadences in the music & how to respond. Finally, there's no escaping the fact that confidence comes from hours of listening to the music and practice!

PP

Sunday, 17 April 2011

Dodgems on the dance-floor



Ever been dancing at a milonga and felt like you have suddenly been transported to a fairground? Instead of being in a comfortable embrace with your partner, flowing magically with the music, you feel you have both been teleported into the seats of a dodgem car. All your efforts are being directed towards avoiding the next crash.

Sometimes things change dramatically at milongas, even milongas where the line of dance is normally respected and dancers are considerate to one another. For any number of reasons, the dynamics on a night can be suddenly different and the floor-craft unpredictable. When driving on a busy road, you need to assume that the other motorists will abide by the road-rules and will drive in a predictable fashion. If not, you would be constantly on high alert, trying to avoid collisions. Social dancers also require predictability from their peers in order to relax and connect with their partner and the music. Gentlemen, you need to “dance with” the couple ahead of, behind and beside you.

We are all responsible, to a greater or lesser extent, for what happens on the dance-floor. So, what can you do, if you find yourself dancing with a partner (male or female) whose behaviour is erratic? Well, for a start, you might be a little more discerning in your choice of dance partner. But, perhaps their behaviour has taken you by surprise. You are dancing the first of four tangos together and you’re getting worried. You have already collided with another couple, and to make things worse, no apology was made. What are your options?
  1. Go with their flow and not worry about the people dancing around you.
  2. Tighten your embrace, try to slow things down and hope that your partner becomes aware of your discomfort.
  3. Say that you are feeling uncomfortable.
  4. Say that you are feeling uncomfortable and return to your seat.
  5. Any other ideas?
As I have mentioned before, the etiquette of the milongas is based on respect for others. The codes evolved over some time, hence can be considered “tried and true”. Their purpose is to reduce tensions and discomfort, thereby maximising harmony during this social event.
When someone’s behaviour had been inappropriate, I have witnessed the organiser of a milonga in Buenos Aires taking the person aside and explaining what is expected. Some organisers refund the person’s money and simply ask them to leave. Better that than have everyone else’s fun spoiled, as well as the reputation of their milonga. Offenders whose response is “But we didn’t actually collide with anyone!” fail to understand that their erratic behavior means that because of them, no-one else can relax and enjoy themselves.
In extreme cases, I have seen ladies use their prerogative and desert their partner on the floor mid-tanda. What else should she do if he just won’t take a hint and continues to make her look incompetent in front of everyone? And of course gentlemen, you too can escort your partner off the floor if she fails to curb her exhibitionist streak and insists on behaviour that endangers others.
On the other hand, some people are just too nice. They feel uncomfortable and do nothing. They are afraid of offending. Ladies have confessed to being afraid that that person won’t invite them to dance again. And the result? In the long-term they actually do the offender a disservice. The anti-social behavior is reinforced. Sadly, that person won’t realise that their behaviour is inappropriate. They miss an opportunity to reflect on whether their skills need development so they can be more in control of their navigation.
Now, see if you can identify the code which wasn’t followed in this video which was taken in a BsAs milonga (hint: 4.20mins). Unfortunately, it led to a dancer being injured and having to leave the floor.
PP

Monday, 28 March 2011

How would you like your piropo?

Adios ángel con alas en los pies. (Farewell angel, with winged feet). Ladies, how might you feel if after dancing together, a tanguero whispered this to you? Or, De qué estrella te caíste? (Which star did you fall from?) Would you feel outrage for being objectified by a man? Or pleasure at the chivalrous attention?

A year or so ago, when the award-winning Argentine feature film El secreto de sus ojos (The secret in their eyes) was released here, an ex-patriot porteño expressed delight with several piropos (flirtatious compliments), peppered through the early part of the movie. I think that he felt a twinge of nostalgia for his home-town and the local practice of a man expressing appreciation for a woman, traditionally done in clever, poetic form. This has been described as the habit of delivering a verbal flower to the ladies that pass by … (Sergio). A crude wolf-whistle hardly has the same effect!

Call me old-fashioned, but IMHO the piropo belongs perfectly in traditional tango culture, where the woman is respected and treasured. Men are macho, but not in the sense often used by gringos. Totango’s article about male & female roles, and tango gender equality provides a revealing insight into this side of tango.

Some say that the piropo is dying out, losing its poetry and becoming more mundane. Certainly Qué ojos! (What eyes!) is less likely to enchant, than Dame de tus ojos la alegría y de tu boca dame la vida (From your eyes give me joy and from your lips give me life) Luis Alberto. Perhaps Argentine men are becoming a little too busy and too stressed nowadays to come up with witty metaphors.

On the other hand, for Valentine’s Day this year, the organisers of La Milonguita ran a competition for the best piropo. The many clever entries show that this tradition is alive and well after all, at least in Argentina!

PP

Thursday, 17 March 2011

What makes a good milonga?

There are many elements that contribute to you saying as you travel home, “that was a good milonga”. Four stand out in my opinion:

Welcoming organisers
They make you feel that you belong and therefore influence the mood of the dancers. Visitors are especially made to feel welcome; shown to where they can sit, and maybe introduced to local dancers.

The codes
This concerns the milonga behaviour that the organisers promote, and the respect which the dancers, in return, have for the codes of the particular milonga. The codes will influence the dancers’ floor-craft and can enhance the harmony, trust, relaxation, sense of community, and cooperation during the milonga.

The venue
Ideally, it is visually appealing, has good ambience and suitable floor. The furniture can be arranged around the dance space to bring the dancers and the ‘watchers’ close…. as well as providing good visual contact for the cabeceo. The venue needs to ‘retain’ the energy of the dancers, rather than allowing it to dissipate. It needs a good sound system which is loud enough to ‘carry’ the dancers, without being harsh on the ears - the music needs to envelope the dancers.

The music
Even if the other elements don’t quite measure up, you simply can’t get past this one. If the music doesn’t work, then it’s unrealistic to think it can be a good milonga. The music is crucial in determining and charting the mood of dancers from the beginning of the milonga to its end. It needs to be the result of knowledgeable and extensive preparation – there are no short-cuts. Near enough is not good enough, and is in fact a long way from ‘satisfactory’, let alone ‘exhilarating’, when it comes to the music.

You can read more on this topic on Tango Australia in Music maketh the milonga

…. and to see all of this coming together, take a look at the recent opening of Cachirulo at Villa Malcolm, where you’ll see organizers Héctor & Norma, DJ Carlos Rey, the codes printed in several languages, great floor-craft and a beautiful venue.

Bob.

Wednesday, 23 February 2011

Códigos de la milonga #9 - La pista

Scenario 26
Imagine the scene at a milonga. The music has started, couples have begun to dance. You’ve just made eye contact with your next partner, with whom you haven’t danced for a while. Choose the most suitable behavior:
  1. The man rushes across the dance-floor to embrace his partner, narrowly missing a couple already dancing.
  2. You’re both on the dance-floor. Before taking up the embrace, you greet your partner and ask how they are, what they’ve been up to, etc.
  3. You meet your partner and make your way straight onto the dance-floor. The other dancers will accommodate you both.
  4. You meet your partner, find a safe gap in the lane of dancers, perhaps making eye contact with the couple approaching and then you merge quickly into the flow.
The correct answer isn’t rocket-science, particularly for most of us who have driver’s licences. (Option 4, in case you were unsure) Yet, it’s surprising how often people forget to consider their fellow dancers. Jan, of Tango Chamuyo provides some useful insights in La pista sagrada (the sacred dancefloor).
And while I’m on the topic of respect for other dancers, in Tango & Chaos in BsAs, Rick McGarrey shares excellent practical advice (replete with graphics) on the challenging skill of navigation. If you are a pusher, a dawdler, or simply see yourself as a free spirit on the pista, this is essential reading!
PP

Friday, 11 February 2011

Esta noche de luna

What affects the way you dance a tango at any one time? Probably, there are countless influences, some may be conscious (your dance partner, the physical environment, the preceding music, the energy of the milonga, etc.). I suspect that there are yet more influences lurking in the subconscious.

What of the tango music itself? Different parts may speak to you. At times, you may find the singer is demanding your attention, whereas previously you were responding to the piano. A knowledge of the lyrics, or at least the theme, of the tango will also play its part and enrich your response. Each time you dance to that same piece it will be a different experience . Isn’t that one of the joys of tango?

I was delighted to find the beautiful translation of one of my favourite romantic tangos Esta noche de luna on Derrick del Pilar’s website. Read, listen and be transported!

Now how might you dance to this gorgeous music? The following clips show very different interpretations of the very same tango played by Carlos Di Sarli’s orchestra with the superb voice of Roberto Rufino . These dancers are all performing for an audience, some may have choreographed their dance and include very impressive manoeuvres, others are improvising and dancing in an understated manner, suited for the salon, with a focus on dancing to the feeling. What I found especially interesting was their musicality, their choices of how to respond and what to respond to in the music.

PP









Wednesday, 26 January 2011

Tango lives of milongueros

For anyone interested in the traditions of tango, the interviews with milongueros on Mónica Paz and Chan Park's blog PractiMilonguero are gold. The recently recorded videos (sub-titled in English) not only convey the unveiled passion each milonguero has for tango, but also shows us glimpses of their personal history. Chan and Mónica are to be congratulated for this valuable initiative which captures some of the story of tango.

Definitely unmissable viewing! The final treat at the end of each clip: we get to see each milonguero dancing.

Here's the latest, quite moving, video of Ricardo "Tito" Franquelo. I hope you enjoy it as much as I did.

PP

Friday, 7 January 2011

Respect

Perhaps there ought to be a sign at the entrance of milongas which reminds patrons that teaching on the dance-floor is inappropriate.

Here’s another idea: suggest to the would-be tutors of tango that they hire their own teaching venue for instructional purposes rather than exploiting a milonga.

OK, let me totally frank about this: I believe that providing unsolicited advice to one’s partner at a milonga is disrespectful and offensive behaviour.

Regardless of the intention (e.g. “helping” a less experienced partner, wanting to execute one’s favourite moves, etc.) it’s just not on! And to those who reluctantly put up with it, or even feel grateful for it, let me repeat: It’s just not on! And you shouldn’t put up with it. In fact by tolerating it, you are encouraging the behaviour, and therefore are a part of the problem.

When an invitation to dance is accepted at a milonga, it should be on the premise that the two parties would like the pleasure of dancing together to that particular tanda of music (Dancing as equals). Besides, to be in the moment and really dance tango together, you have to focus on the music and your partner, not be distracted by an explanation of the technicalities of a figure. That’s what lessons and practicas are for.

Not only is this behaviour offensive to the recipient, it also disrupts the flow of the dancers at the milonga. A well-functioning ronda relies upon all the dancers (especially the men) cooperating with each other, some would say dancing with each other, hence enabling the couples to proceed in the line of dance without interference. Stopping to teach your partner on the pista would hardly endear you to your fellow dancers who are banking up behind you or are attempting to avoid you. In fact, it’s a recipe for chaos on the dance-floor.

Finally, I find the instructions which are audible to all those around the would-be tutor & partner so distracting, that I lose focus even when my favourite pieces of music are playing.

So what could be your options if this happens to you:
· Accept the advice with gratitude or in silence – Definitely not recommended
· Say: I simply can’t dance and talk.
· Say: Could we discuss this later, off the floor?
· Say: Thank-you and return to your seat.
· Say: Do you want to dance with me or teach me?
· If you’re a woman say: If you can lead it, I’ll try to follow.
· Never dance with this partner again.
· Look around and discover that it’s often the poorer dancers who are the advice-givers.

Perhaps rehearsing a suitable response would be helpful to some. A consistent approach to this issue could well lead to some noticeable changes in behaviour.

Am I alone in these sentiments?
PP

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