What’s in a name? Comme il faut

What is comme il faut? No, it’s not the shoes!

The literal translation from the French (according to our French-English dictionary) is "How Things Are Done," but that doesn't begin to describe it.
It's about manners, and behaving properly in polite society, and keeping your cool under provocation (both verbal and physical).
It's behaving like a lady, or acting like a gentleman.
It's that very rare quality in today's self-promoting, blame-shifting, tell-all society known as class.

When we named our new milonga Comme il faut just 4 years ago, it was very much a case of our belief in “how a milonga should be”. From spending a month in Buenos Aires every year since 1999, we have come to embrace the style of milonga that we believe to be typical of the ‘Mecca of tango’.

We wanted to cultivate some of the important elements that we value at the more traditional milongas in BsAs. Many hours spent in Maipu 444 watching and dancing, while absorbing the music of master DJ Carlos Rey, have provided a thorough education in what makes a successful milonga.

Consequently, we chose a venue which has character – a 1920s golf club – with a relatively small salon, accommodating around 55 people. With the tables arranged tightly around the dance floor, those who watching are always in close contact with those who are dancing. It also makes possible and encourages the use of the cabeceo. The size of the dance floor requires dancers to have good navigation skills, respect the line of dance, and dance appropriately. So it follows that elaborate performance figures and activities that disturb other dancers (eg. high boleos) are not welcome …… and we haven’t been shy in asking ladies to keep their heels close to the floor. We are delighted that there seems to be an understanding that good floor-craft and care for other dancers are the norms at Comme il faut.

The other guiding influence is has been the DJ culture of Buenos Aires. Pat’s music is largely the best of the Golden Age, with playlists influenced by the likes of Carlos Rey, Mario Orlando, and Dany Borelli. Persistence with this wonderful music at Comme il faut, has meant that local dancers are now saying that they have come to love the music of that period.

So why do we, in Australia, want to promote a milonga modeled on our favourites in Buenos Aires? For a start, it’s what we love, and we want to share what we believe is a genuine tango experience with local dancers. There’s also the reality that many dancers of all abilities are holidaying in Buenos Aires, with the intention of dancing tango there. What we offer is a snapshot of what to expect. As a result, dancers may recognize the changes they may need to make to their current style of dancing in order to fit in. After all, many milongas in BsAs are much more crowded than here. Good navigation skills are essential. Sacadas, volcadas, & colgadas are rarities in the traditional milongas. Better to learn this before arriving in BsAs than experiencing a rude shock.

Should all milongas be modeled on the traditional BsAs ones? Well, if they were, we would love every minute of them. However, other people insist that home-grown milongas should not try to copy BsAs, but have their own local style. What do you think?

Bob.

What IS that smell???

Before attending a social function such as a milonga, there are certain things many of us take for granted in our society: taking a shower, brushing our teeth, wearing clean clothes, taking along some breath mints. Some men who perspire heavily have been known to thoughtfully bring along a spare shirt to change into. Tangueras really do appreciate men who make an effort.

However, as in all matters, there are people attending milongas who just don’t understand the Less is more concept. And I’m not referring to their dancing! I’m thinking about the ladies and gentlemen who feel the need to douse themselves with their favourite, expensive perfume and then share it around each time they embrace someone. Surely just a hint of scent should be enough – elegant sufficiency, n’est ce pas? Instead, we sometimes leave milongas wearing a sundry mélange of designer eau de parfum. OK, I’m lucky enough not to suffer from allergies and I can wash it off when I get home. So what’s the fuss all about?

A few weeks ago, we discovered an odour emanating from my significant other’s clothes. It was rather feminine, floral and quite pervasive. (He’s got another woman! I thought.) The smell had spread through four jackets & six shirts like an out-of-control virus. Finally, we managed to track down the source to one of the jackets he’d worn to a milonga. No amount of airing could get rid of it. Now, he’s patiently & forensically working towards identifying the culprit!

On another note, Tango Goddess shares an amusing anecdote about a totally different type of assault on the olfactory system.

PP

Who's afraid of close embrace?

We all need it! We all love it! But are you afraid of a hug?

The close embrace is a defining feature of traditional tango. Within that comfortable, safe hug, we can relax, and allow our bodies to respond naturally to the music and communicate non-verbally.

Movement invites Movement compares the "frame" of Ballroom Dancing with the tango embrace in one of their blogs. Take a look. I know which option I prefer.

I love how Osvaldo Centena and Ana Maria Schapira are totally connected within their wonderful embrace as they dance to this D'Arienzo classic.



PP

Getting the music

Most milongueros would say that “getting” the music is the first priority when dancing tango. After all, tango is a feeling that is danced. So for most of us, who weren’t listening to tango while still in the womb, we have a little catching up to do!

It’s not only about the rhythm, the phrases are also very important. And of course, we can dance to the melody. For some of us, individual instruments may seize our attention ....... they may be playful or intense, etc. In the end, it’s all about how the music speaks to us at the time. And because the music has several layers, our response to it is likely to be different each time we dance. Isn’t that part of the fun?

Interestingly, I find myself “re-discovering” tangos which I’d previously neglected. Without a doubt, listening to the music a lot allows the brain and the body to respond better, to tune in more effectively to the nuances and opportunities which the music offers. So my advice is to listen to tango music frequently. For anyone wanting to start or improve their music collection, Stephen & Susan Brown’s recommendations are a great start. For lovingly restored recordings, Keith Elshaw is your man.

Teachers of tango have a major responsibility here, too. We all need to be nurturing our students with danceable tango music, and it should be appropriate to their skill level. There should be an obvious connection between the music and the skills being taught. No, it’s not “rocket science”. Yet, too often one hears of complex figures more suited to the stage being pursued relentlessly by teachers, even though their students may lack fundamental skills. What could be the point of this, when the pre-requisites for tango bliss are good connection with the music & one’s partner, and a nice embrace?

PP

Attitude

Immersion in the milonga scene here in Buenos Aires has provided me the luxury of reflecting on lots of tango-related issues. Musicality, technique and the codes are familiar topic , although not necessarily mastered by all the dancers on the floor. However, another seldom-mentioned aspect of dancing successfully in the milonga is attitude. Dancing tango requires a certain mind-set.

Self-belief is essential
Both men and women need to be confident that they will be able to respond to the demands of the music, the dance-floor and their partner. A tense or inhibited partner will not be able to respond as effectively to their partner or the music, so the partner will in turn, not be able to relax and make the most of the dance. A confident (and capable) man's embrace & lead will allow his partner to feel safe. Any tentativeness will lead to uncertainty on her part. She should surrender herself to her partner and to the music for the tanda.

However, we cannot fully give of ourselves if we're not sure that we have something worthwhile to give.

Attitude to one's partner
Firstly, we should really want to dance with that person. For that reason, I'm a great fan of the cabeceo. Agreeing to dance with that person means that we'll do our best to make the most of that tanda together. We should be prepared to respect and commit to our partner for that time, regardless of their dance experience (see Dancing as equals). If we can't do that, then I believe that it's better not to dance with them. In a recent interview for Practimilonguero, milonguero "El Oso" said that his job as a dancer was to make his partner "vibrate with the music".

Dancing with everyone on the pista
We share the dance-floor. There needs to be a balance between our self-belief & enjoyment, and that of other couples. However, each couple should command their space confidently within the ronda. Just the other day in a downtown milonga, I witnessed a foreign couple whose dance skills were quite reasonable, but they looked daunted by the other dancers around them. Their faces revealed fear and discomfort, his embrace seemed weak and apologetic. Rather than dancing confidently between the couple behind and in from of them, they often appeared to lose their nerve and would escape into other lanes.

We should respect other couples and their rights on the pista, but not be afraid. We need to collaborate with other couples around us and not feel intimidated by them.

Perhaps it goes without saying, but I'll spell it out anyway. Underpinning attitude, is confidence in your mastery of a small repertoire of simple figures that are appropriate to the milonga; good posture and stability; an understanding of the cadences in the music & how to respond. Finally, there's no escaping the fact that confidence comes from hours of listening to the music and practice!

PP