Want to be able to dance confidently and feel comfortable in traditional milongas of Buenos Aires?
Our teaching develops your musicality, connection, technique & improvisation with social tango, as well as insights into tango culture and critical skills to build your confidence with milonga etiquette.


Wednesday 17 June 2015

How are your conversation/tango skills?


Recently a relatively new member of our tango community was asking me about the cabeceo and tango etiquette. As we chatted, he commented on the strong similarities between good manners relating to conversation and tango.

This got me thinking, and I decided to design a little quiz.  Here goes:

Before trying to engage a person in conversation, do you ...
  1. look at them first to see if they might be interested in engaging with you?
  2. tap them on the shoulder and expect them to want to talk to you?
If that person is already involved in a conversation with someone else, do you ...
  1. interrupt that conversation and take over?
  2. wait until that person is 'free' & looks interested in talking to you?
If you start talking with that person ...
  1. do you really listen to them?
  2. are you planning what you want to say next, while they are still speaking?
While speaking with them, do you ...
  1. talk at length, without allowing them opportunity to engage in the conversation?
  2. express an idea, listen to their response, and then respond to that?
How did you go with the quiz? (My preferred answers: 1, 2, 1, 2)

Does it sound like tango to you, too? Perhaps you might think of something to add to the quiz.
PP
Labels: ,

2 comments:

  1. Anonymous10 August 2015 at 17:18

    Maybe you should introduce the most basic element the pause, take a moment before you start by acknowledge those around the table especially, if that person has a partner next to them.

    Be aware of your sounding otherwise the way you treat others is the way they will treat you.


    ReplyDelete
  2. Tango Salon Adelaide10 August 2015 at 17:54

    Thanks for your comment, Anonymous, and for adding to my list.

    What you describe appears to be good manners, if you were using the direct approach when inviting someone to dance. But, in my opinion, the main recipients of your good manners would be the other people at the table, not the invitee. However, if the invitee has somehow already indicated their interest in dancing with you, that's a different matter. Furthermore, if they are with a partner, you might also comment to the partner afterwards, how much you enjoyed the tanda.

    Unfortunately, if the invitee has not already shown interest in dancing with you, the direct approach doesn't allow him/her to decline your invitation without causing embarrassment and discomfort. Hence, the value of the cabeceo.

    Nobody is perfect. We can all make mistakes. The best things to do are to read body language, size up the situation and do your best to ensure that feelings are not hurt.
    PP

    ReplyDelete

Thanks for your comment. All comments are subject to moderation. Don't worry - it won't take long.

Subscribe to: Post Comments (Atom)

Popular posts

  • Welcome to our new milonga venue!
    The doors had just opened for our first milonga at the beautiful Torrens Rowing Club last month.  See you again at Comme il faut on the 15 ...
  • Cabeceo ….. the subtle game of pursuit
    Having been immersed in the tradition of Buenos Aires milongas, I still feel compelled to use the ‘cabeceo’. Cruising around the milongas wi...
  • Every little bit counts
    After more than a week of dancing in traditional Buenos Aires milongas, I’m reminded of some of the social niceties which contribute to a ha...
  • Different partners, different journeys
    Ladies, we may sometimes lament the gender imbalance at milongas.  Perhaps we dance less than we’d like.  But have you considered some of th...
  • Favourite milongas
    Great music, a good standard of social dancing, respectful & harmonious dance-floors and friendly organisers. That's what we look f...
  • Milonga Solidaria 2023
    Many thanks to all the dancers who attended Milonga Solidaria last Friday - all of your $10 entradas will be donated by Tango Salon Adelaide...
  • What makes a good milonga?
    There are many elements that contribute to you saying as you travel home, “that was a good milonga”. Four stand out in my opinion: Welcoming...