How do you like your cabeceo?

Curiously, the cabeceo seems to provoke strong reactions in some people.  Yet, it can be an elegant way of showing an interest in dancing with a particular person, and allowing them real choice in the matter.  With increased personal confidence in tango and a little practice, it becomes quite easy.  Of course, that doesn't mean that you'll always get your own way.  After all, it's about choice - for all involved!

Perhaps people who reject the cabeceo feel a little threatened by it somehow.  Don't so many of us simply avoid the things we don't understand?

In Adelaide, it's delightful to see an increasing number of people getting the hang of the cabeceo.  Some use it with apparent ease, while others are still honing their skills and may experience awkward moments.

How do you like your cabeceo?  At the beginning of a tanda which you would like to dance to, do you ...

1. continue talking with the person next to you and then wonder why you're not dancing to that wonderful music?
2. approach the person, and indicate non-verbally that you'd like to dance with her/him?
3. focus on a person for a short while, so that they have a chance to register your interest.  If they don't appear interested, you direct your gaze at a different potential partner?
4. look around the salon; your gaze alighting briefly on potential partners of interest, until one of them responds positively?
5. stare intently at a person, regardless of whether they have clearly ignored your gaze. Continue to stare at her/him, in the hope of wearing down their defences?

Which method works for you?  What strategies permit real choice with no pressure?  Do you have other cabeceo suggestions?

PP

'Comme il faut' celebrates 5 years

Tango Salón Adelaide’s monthly milonga celebrated its 5th birthday on Sunday to a large and enthusiastic crowd. We’d like to thank all the dancers from Adelaide, elsewhere in Australia, and overseas who have supported Comme il faut over the years and embraced the vision that we had in 2007. That is, to have a milonga in Adelaide that as much as possible resembled the traditional milongas in Buenos Aires that we have come to love. That meant a focus on four elements that we believe make a good milonga.

We chose a 1920s golf club, with a salon that, on entering, immediately takes us back to the early Golden Age of tango. In Buenos Aires we observed some of the best hosts – Oscar & Lucia, Dany & Lucy – and came to appreciate their welcoming nature, the importance of finding seats for people and setting the general tone of the milonga. Pat modelled her DJing on the likes of Dany Borelli, Carlos Rey, and Mario Orlando, presenting the best of Golden Age music. Finally, our experience of regularly dancing in the traditional milongas such as El Maipú and Lujos, taught us the value of the cabeceo and good floorcraft.

It continues to be a great pleasure for us to see the response from local dancers sharing our love of the music, enjoying the venue, and dancing in the best tradition of social tango.

Happy Birthday, Alberto Podestá!

This living legend of tango turns 82 today and he's still singing to appreciative audiences in Buenos Aires.

Di Sarli recruited him at the tender age of 18 and later he also went on to sing with Pedro Laurenz - two of the great orquestas of the Golden Age.  For more about his interesting career, read this interview in Todotango where you can also listen to a number of his hits.  Bill recently forwarded this lovely Youtube video of a recent sub-titled interview with the great man.

When it comes to romantic tangos and valses, he's a master.  Don't Sebastian and Maria Ines capture the romance of Junto a tu corazon beautifully in this performance?

PP

Good intentions?

Does the following scenario sound familiar?  I'll bet it's happening in a milonga near you - wherever you may be!

A beginner dancer musters up the courage to attend a milonga after taking just a few lessons. She's thinking of watching & learning, not expecting to dance. Yet before long, an older experienced dancer approaches and invites her to dance.

Throughout the tanda he proceeds to share his advice with her, so that she may know how to do giros, volcadas, leg-wraps, etc. Being a tango novice, she politely accepts all his comments, including his urgent exhortations to go into the cross or now do a forward ocho.  In the process, she's allowed to stumble around, feeling inadequate.  I'm sure that you get the picture. You've seen it all before!

We've all been rank beginners.  I dare say that most ladies have been assisted in our journey by a more experienced dancer taking us on to the dance-floor for our first real tango.  But how helpful is the approach experienced by our novice?

It will come as no surprise that her dancing does not improve.  At the end of the tanda, she leaves the dance-floor with her confidence shaken.

One might well ask: What were his intentions?

What could our experienced dancer have done differently?

PP

Milonga seating - what's the fuss?

At milongas, 
A:  do you like to sit at a table with friends & acquaintances, male & female?
B:  perhaps you simply like to share a table for two with your partner?
C:  do you prefer the singles seating arrangement, where men sit separately from the ladies?

We all have our preferences, and they may change according to various circumstances.  But are we aware of the implications of the choice we make?  As for milonga organisers, one would hope that they understand the dynamics which are created with their chosen seating arrangements.

Option A - the sociable arrangement - is popular here in Australia.  It allows people to chat freely and at length with those sharing their table.  When the mood takes them, they get up and dance together.  Sounds pretty relaxed, doesn't it?

But consider the following scenario: 
A wonderful tanda of Calo beckons and someone (let's call him Trevor) from one table wants to dance with Jane from another table.  But she is engrossed in conversation with friends.  She is showing no interest in dancing, despite the great music.  And to make matters worse, the tables crowded together mean that she has her back to him.

What does he do?  What would be socially acceptable?  What would you do?

Well, Trevor wastes no time.  He approaches Jane's table, interrupts the conversation and asks her to dance.  Taken by surprise, she doesn't know what to do.  She hadn't been wanting to dance with Trevor, or with anyone for the moment.  But now she's put on the spot.  Refuse or be nice and go through the motions.

No, the problem was not entirely due to the seating layout, but it is all too common with Option A.

Option C, on the other hand, is an arrangement entirely aimed at facilitating dancing.  It allows milonga attendees to signal their availability and intention clearly to potential partners.  Obvious body language will indicate whether they're interested in dancing.  The rules of engagement are clear-cut.  Nobody is imposed upon.  Socialising with those sitting nearby is not precluded, but the main objective is dancing.

Does Option C seem a tad daunting?  Perhaps a compromise with Option A would suit?  Tables can be arranged around the dance-floor enabling friends to socialise or focus on the dancing.  When the music inspires, it's relatively easy to scan the milonga for a potential partner.

Choosing Option B sends a pretty clear message of exclusivity of the couple.  Enough said.

Sometimes the venue imposes limitations to seating possibilities.  However, milonga organisers should be mindful of the social dynamics, including potential difficulties which they may be creating unintentionally.  As for the attendees, good manners are good manners wherever you may be.

PP