Diaries from BsAs #3 - Breaking into a milonga

From her:

Newcomers to tango often ask how long it will take them to be able to dance effectively. The only honest answer has to be that "it depends" ...... on many factors.

The same applies to how long it takes to break into a milonga to which you are new.  Recently we returned to a milonga which we hadn't attended for several years.  We sat separately, as usual.  Despite being a newcomer, I was surprisingly given a good seat.  I was close to the dance-floor and in open view of the male dancers.

Watching the dancers, I quickly realised that I hardly knew any of the men. I was an unknown quantity to them, as they were to me.

Fortunately, one of my favourite local partners happened to be there and we enjoyed a lovely tanda early.  At least, it was obvious to the men observing that I could dance well, and a number of them started looking my way for the next tanda.  But, I didn't know how they danced.

So, I followed my tried and true policy of not accepting invitations until I'd seen that they could dance well.  Trouble was, there were quite a number of capable male dancers swirling around.  For some time it was hard to identify and target the ones I wanted to dance with.

In the meantime, I thoroughly enjoyed listening to the excellent music chosen by DJ Dany Borelli.  Watching the dancers was also captivating - like staring into the flames of a fire.

Yes, I did have a few more lovely dances.  Next time, I expect there will be a few more.

As a newcomer to a milonga, patience is definitely essential, particularly if you are choosy.  After all, the local men have a circle of friends with whom they enjoy dancing.  It would be unreasonable for a newcomer to expect to immediately gain their attention.

So, how soon will you dance in any particular milonga? It depends on many things, but here are just a few:

• does your level of dancing match the general standard of the milonga?
• do you already know potential partners there?
• how selective are you?
• where are you positioned in the milonga?
• how effective are your cabeceo techniques?
• how do you present yourself? 
• how regularly do you attend that particular milonga?
• how patient are you and how much persistence do you have?
• ........

PP