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Sunday, 26 January 2014

How was it for you?

Gentlemen! If you want to dance real tango, you should leave exhibitionist figures and mind-sets at the door when you enter the milonga.

You'll need to focus your attention on the embrace and the music, and not on elaborate steps. What is the point of executing tricky figures, if the connection with your partner is broken? Do you really want her to feel like a puppet in your arms, rather than a woman?

So .......

      if we dance, I don't want to be your partner for a performance.

      if we dance, I will want you to dance with and for me.

      if we dance, it will be to share the feeling of the music.

After the first tango of a tanda, some milongueros gently check with me that I feel comfortable. Such is their respect. They know that a woman cannot give of herself in tango, if she is not at ease. True milongueros know that for a partner to share her passion, there must be trust. 

Guys, to dance tango, you must listen to the heart of the woman. Cacho Dante.



  1. is it common/acceptable to ask a partner 'how is my embrace' in a milonga?

  2. No, to the above. You're dancing at a milonga, not practicing with a partner. You can feel that she is comfortable.

    A milonguero viejo may ask after the first tune with a new partner, bien? He knows the answer by the expression on her face.

  3. Thanks Anonymous and Janis for your responses.

    Janis, you describe my experience exactly. The non-verbal response of the lady is enough.

    Anonymous, if a partner at a milonga were to ask me to comment on his embrace, or any other specific aspect of his dancing, it would be putting both of us in an awkward position. If the response were not one he liked, there would be potential for offence. So, I might feel obliged to respond with a white lie.

    Besides, the milonga is a time to lose oneself in the dance, not to analyse a partner's technique.

    As Janis pointed out, the milonga is not a practica.

  4. I always so enjoy your blog posts.

    One has to be careful with "how was it for you?". In French I asked "Est-ce bon pour toi?" and all of my partner's friends had a good laugh. I found out a week later that this question is evidently reserved for after sex in French. So now I say "Est-ce bon pour toi?" to a small group of friends who know the original story, and we laugh. Then I say, "Il était bon pour moi!" -- it was good for me!

  5. Glad you enjoy them, Tango Therapist.

    I must admit that the choice of title for this post was not accidental.

  6. This video in a popular milonga of Buenos Aires, show that the steps are not very important, the most import in the tango is the feeling, the musicality, the imporvisations and the embrace. http://f.oc.gs/fouay


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